9 Real Life Mad Scientists

[Kain]

Are we too hard on mad scientists? After all, many of the world's greatest discoveries were made using experiments that would make the average citizen run screaming from the room.


So really, is there such a thing as a "mad" scientist at all? A man whose methods go so far above and beyond, that you doubt his very sanity?
Yes. Yes there is. Here are nine of them.
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#9.Harry Harlow, Monkey Torturer

The Scientist:
What is love? American psychologist Harry Harlow decided to find out. And what stronger bond is there than that of a child and mother? So he did studies on rhesus monkey babies and their mothers, to find the nature of love itself. What could be more noble?

Wait, what's the title of this article again? Oh, crap.


The Madness:
Harlow had a "Rape Rack" in his lab.
That's what he called the forced mating machine he used for the monkeys. See, it turns out Harlow wasn't big on using euphemisms to make people feel better about his experiments. And that's a problem, because he decided early that the best way to find out the nature of love was by torturing baby monkeys.

If you think "torturing" is too strong a word, you should know that he called another of his devices the Iron Maiden.

"To be honest, I don't even know why I'm doing this."

Wait, it Gets Weirder:
His most controversial experiment, however, involved a device affectionately dubbed the pit of despair, where a baby monkey would be placed in a small isolated chamber for periods of up to a year, without any contact with any living creature. As a result, the baby monkeys became psychotic and never recovered.

"You mean you don't like being tortured? Fascinating!"

So when it came time for Harlow to present his findings, we're guessing he just summed it up as, "What is love? Well, you know that feeling you get when you've been locked in a tiny dark space alone for a year? It's the opposite of that."

[Kain]

#8. Jack Parsons, Occult Rocket Scientist

The Scientist:
As a rocket propulsion researcher at the California Institute of Technology and co-founder of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, chemist Jack Parsons was destined to be immortalized in history as "the guy who knew a lot about rockets." Though, we assume history would have a better handle on coming up with nicknames than we do.


The Madness:


Here's Jack Parsons:

Well, we certainly don't see anything odd there. But as it turns out, Parsons was into the occult. Really into it.


Which would be cool if he kept it to himself, like getting a couple of weird tattoos or holding the occasional orgy in a circle of black candles (thus making him the greatest scientist in history). But no, Parsons didn't believe in moderation in his craziness. He was a strict follower of the Thelema, a sort of spiritual philosophy on life lead by this man, Aleister Crowley:

He was one of Crowley's most devoted students and was even chosen to lead a Masonic/Religious/Quasi-secret organization in California.
Eventually Parsons started invoking the name of the Greek god Pan before every rocket test, because half-goat/half-man, forest creatures are known for their technological aptitude.


Wait, it Gets Weirder:
The infamous publically discredited super fraud (will open thread later ) L. Ron Hubbard was often Parsons's "magical" buddy. Together they did many cool things, like participating in a ritual known as the Babalon Working, an attempt to summon a living goddess. They didn't succeed, as far as we know. Later, Hubbard defrauded a large sum of money from Parsons and used it to publish his book Dianetics, the basis for the Scientology movement.

Parsons didn't live to see Scientology bloom, as he died shortly after when science exploded in his face. And we mean that literally: He died in an explosion of volatile chemicals he kept laying around. Thanks a lot, Pan.

[Kain]

#7.Sidney Gottlieb, aka Dr. Feelgood

The Scientist:
Sidney Gottlieb was an American military psychiatrist with a Ph.D. in chemistry from the California Institute of Technology. He worked with the CIA during the Cold War, using all of his scientific know-how in the field of biochemistry to help America get a leg up over the evil Ruskies.


The Madness:
Unfortunately, Gottlieb's scientific know-how came down basically to "let's poison everyone." For example, he was the man behind the idea to saturate Castro's shoes with thallium and thus make the hair of his beard fall out, further proving to us that the CIA had some very liberal theories about the source of Castro's power.

His beard was under speculation at some point

Gottlieb also proposed killing Castro with a poisoned cigar, a poisoned wetsuit and a poisoned fountain pen. His later idea for a batch of poisoned poison was unfortunately rejected by the agency.
To prove he wasn't just a one note guy, Gottlieb later on tried to assassinate an Iraqi general and the prime minister of Congo with neurotoxins. Which are different than poison. Somehow.


Wait, it Gets Weirder:
Gottlieb was also the head of the MKULTRA project, which studied the possibilities of mind control in espionage... using LSD. The Agency wanted to know if the drug we now associate with hippies could help break a man's mind for interrogation purposes. So Sidney and his colleagues did what they had to in the name of science: They tripped like crazy, day and night.


However, they soon grew lonely and invited more and more people on their acid trips. Too bad they didn't have the decency to tell them about it. That's right, the kindly old Sidney spent some time going around America slipping LSD into people's drinks and observing the effects. He mostly chose hookers and drug addicts for his experiments because he gathered no one would care or believe what they had to say about the crazy old man drugging random citizens.

(bi tasarrof)

[Kain]

#6.Giovanni Aldini, Corpse Reanimator

The Scientist:
An early 19th century Italian physicist, Giovanni Aldini was the nephew of Luigi Galvani, the man who pioneered galvanism, or "hooking up crap to batteries," as our wise janitor explained to us.


Aldini spent most of his life testing the medical applications of this discovery and wound up becoming the 19th century science equivalent of Elvis Presley. In the end, for his contributions to science, the emperor of Austria made him a Knight of the Iron Crown, a title which could only have been cooler if they fit the words "lightning" or "dragon" into it.

We're just saying.

The Madness:
We were serious about the Elvis thing. Aldini traveled Europe with what can only be described as a science circus. His little big top of horror and science was a magnificent theatrical spectacle in which Aldini electrocuted human corpses and animal carcasses. And, of course, it always gathered huge crowds, because 19th century Europe simply did not have enough horror and violence in its everyday life.

During one show in London in 1802, Aldini electrically stimulated the heads and trunks of cows, horses, sheep and dogs with high powered batteries. The people witnessing this reported that the animals' jaws and eyes started moving almost as if they were alive. It was pretty much Satan's puppet show.


Wait, it Gets Weirder:
In January 1803, Aldini presented his most famous experiment. He was given the body of a hanged criminal, George Forster, who had been executed for the murder of his wife and child. Aldini created quite possibly one of the inspirations for Mary Shelley's famous work.
Displaying Forster's body for the public to see, he electrocuted his face, which started to twitch and move; his mouth and eyes opening and, according to all accounts, he looked very much alive.

But believing he did not freak out the people and humiliated Forster enough, Aldini stuck an electrified rod straight up the corpse's behind, after which the body started to kick and punch around so much, most people were sure he came back to life and started screaming about hanging him again. But how do you kill something... that has already died?

Ah yes.

(bi tasarrof)

[SysTaMatIcS]

Originally Posted by Kain

#6.Giovanni Aldini, Corpse Reanimator

The Scientist:
An early 19th century Italian physicist, Giovanni Aldini was the nephew of Luigi Galvani, the man who pioneered galvanism, or "hooking up crap to batteries," as our wise janitor explained to us.


Aldini spent most of his life testing the medical applications of this discovery and wound up becoming the 19th century science equivalent of Elvis Presley. In the end, for his contributions to science, the emperor of Austria made him a Knight of the Iron Crown, a title which could only have been cooler if they fit the words "lightning" or "dragon" into it.

We're just saying.

The Madness:
We were serious about the Elvis thing. Aldini traveled Europe with what can only be described as a science circus. His little big top of horror and science was a magnificent theatrical spectacle in which Aldini electrocuted human corpses and animal carcasses. And, of course, it always gathered huge crowds, because 19th century Europe simply did not have enough horror and violence in its everyday life.

During one show in London in 1802, Aldini electrically stimulated the heads and trunks of cows, horses, sheep and dogs with high powered batteries. The people witnessing this reported that the animals' jaws and eyes started moving almost as if they were alive. It was pretty much Satan's puppet show.


Wait, it Gets Weirder:
In January 1803, Aldini presented his most famous experiment. He was given the body of a hanged criminal, George Forster, who had been executed for the murder of his wife and child. Aldini created quite possibly one of the inspirations for Mary Shelley's famous work.
Displaying Forster's body for the public to see, he electrocuted his face, which started to twitch and move; his mouth and eyes opening and, according to all accounts, he looked very much alive.

But believing he did not freak out the people and humiliated Forster enough, Aldini stuck an electrified rod straight up the corpse's behind, after which the body started to kick and punch around so much, most people were sure he came back to life and started screaming about hanging him again. But how do you kill something... that has already died?

Ah yes.

(bi tasarrof)

thats amazing , why dont they do that now in public live shows

[Kain]

#5.Ilya Ivanovich Ivanov, Monkey Man Inventor

The Scientist:
Illya Ivanovich Ivanov was a Russian and Soviet biologist famous for creating animal hybrids. This was a man who could take a zebra, a donkey and a turkey baster and pull a Zonkey out of his behind. He also created a hybrid of an antelope and cow (with the milk-giving properties of an antelope and the swiftness of a cow).


Well, how can this possibly go wrong?

The Madness:
Ivanov was also an insane old kook, ordered by Stalin to create a super race of slave ape-man hybrids who would serve the Communistic Russia in taking over the free world. That is, if you believe certain Scottish newspapers.


How much of that is true? Well, we do know the man did inseminate a few chimpanzees with human baby goo to create said hybrid. Mainly for the typical mad scientist motive: "Why the hell not?"

So in 1926, in Conakry (Africa), aided by the French and Soviet government (who expressed more interest in knocking up apes than is acceptable), Ivanov managed to inseminate three chimpanzees. Not one of them became pregnant. That we know of.

Wait, it Gets Weirder:
Concluding that his experiment failed due to doing the whole thing backwards, Ivanov attempted to knock up a human female with liquid monkey juice. In 1929, he obtained the support of the Society of Materialist Biologists, a group associated with the Communist Academy ("Monkey on girl action? Count us in!"), and actually found willing female volunteers for the project.

Now all they needed was the gravy for Ivanov's baster. The good doctor wrote a Cuban heiress, Rosalia Abreu, who had a large chimpanzee menagerie outside Havana, asking if she could provide him with some nice monkey semen.
Word got out about this and the project was shut down by... the Ku Klux Klan.

There is not one bit of this that makes any sense.

They threatened the lady who owned the chimps and got her to back down. The Klan apparently figured that chimps breeding with white women was actually way worse than what they had been fighting up to then.
Congratulations, Ivanov. You found a way to get the whole world agreeing with the Klan.

[SysTaMatIcS]

Originally Posted by Kain

#5.Ilya Ivanovich Ivanov, Monkey Man Inventor

The Scientist:
Illya Ivanovich Ivanov was a Russian and Soviet biologist famous for creating animal hybrids. This was a man who could take a zebra, a donkey and a turkey baster and pull a Zonkey out of his behind. He also created a hybrid of an antelope and cow (with the milk-giving properties of an antelope and the swiftness of a cow).


Well, how can this possibly go wrong?

The Madness:
Ivanov was also an insane old kook, ordered by Stalin to create a super race of slave ape-man hybrids who would serve the Communistic Russia in taking over the free world. That is, if you believe certain Scottish newspapers.


How much of that is true? Well, we do know the man did inseminate a few chimpanzees with human baby goo to create said hybrid. Mainly for the typical mad scientist motive: "Why the hell not?"

So in 1926, in Conakry (Africa), aided by the French and Soviet government (who expressed more interest in knocking up apes than is acceptable), Ivanov managed to inseminate three chimpanzees. Not one of them became pregnant. That we know of.

Wait, it Gets Weirder:
Concluding that his experiment failed due to doing the whole thing backwards, Ivanov attempted to knock up a human female with liquid monkey juice. In 1929, he obtained the support of the Society of Materialist Biologists, a group associated with the Communist Academy ("Monkey on girl action? Count us in!"), and actually found willing female volunteers for the project.

Now all they needed was the gravy for Ivanov's baster. The good doctor wrote a Cuban heiress, Rosalia Abreu, who had a large chimpanzee menagerie outside Havana, asking if she could provide him with some nice monkey semen.
Word got out about this and the project was shut down by... the Ku Klux Klan.

There is not one bit of this that makes any sense.

They threatened the lady who owned the chimps and got her to back down. The Klan apparently figured that chimps breeding with white women was actually way worse than what they had been fighting up to then.
Congratulations, Ivanov. You found a way to get the whole world agreeing with the Klan.

the ku klux part is real ?
this is the zeedonk btw , scary , hybrid between a donkey and a zebra.

[Kain]

#4.Guy Ben-Ary, Artificial Brain Maker

The Scientist:
Guy Ben-Ary (pictured above, on the right) is a Los Angeles born scientist/artist now working in Australia. He specializes in microscopy; biological and digital imaging; tissue culture and engineering; and artistic visualization of biological data.
Isn't it interesting how you can strip the horror out of anything with enough technical language?


The Madness:
Let's start with his involvement in the Tissue Sculpture Program, which creates partially organic and partially manufactured objects that blur the boundaries between art and science, not to mention the boundaries between creepy ass horror and a slap to God's bearded face.

We don't know what this is but it's gross.

But that is small stuff as compared to Guy's other projects. He is part of the team developing the so-called Living Screen, a freak show endeavor (hey, their words, not ours) where you can observe "Nano Movies" being projected on living screens made from such lovable materials as mice cornea, blood or skin.


These living screens, which actually have the ability to age and die, react differently to each showing of the movies, which are observed through a projector shaped like a coffin, in case you thought these guys weren't doing this on purpose.

Wait, it Gets Weirder:
Guy Ben-Ary is also part of the core group behind the MEART project, which built the first possibly sentient biomechanical entity. By cultivating nerve cells in a laboratory in Atlanta, the MEART team established a connection between their do-it-yourself brain and a mechanical robotic arm in Australia.
The cultivated brain is expanding all the time, learning new things everyday the same as a real brain would. Lately, it actually learned how to draw, and is starting to depict its own unique imagery the artists are calling "art."


Is the MEART entity "alive"? Is it sentient? When will it realize it's just an intelligence using the Internet to occupy a mechanical hardware arm? When will it learn to take over other machines? And most importantly, how in the hell do we kill it?!

(bi tasarrof)

[Kain]

#3.Jose Delgado, Aspiring Supervillian

The Scientist:
Dr. Delgado was also a Spanish professor of physiology who actually had to take his MD degree course twice due to the Spanish Civil War, where he served in the medical corps on the Republican side. In 1946, he began a fellowship at Yale University where he joined the department of physiology, studying electrical brain stimulation.


The Madness:
Electrical brain stimulation is just nerd talk for mind control, baby!

Delgado was the man behind the invention of the Stimoceiver, which will be referred to from this point on as the "Brain Piss Switch." The Brain Piss Switch was basically a wireless brain stimulator/monitor which worked with a transmitter planted in the head of the "patient." Its job was to send electrical signals to evoke responses in the brain. Dr. Delgado first started with cats, but later moved on to monkeys and even human beings, including mental patients.

The Brain Piss Switch could basically control behavior and stimulate any emotion the good doctor wanted, be it pleasant sensations, odd feelings or even visions. Yes, he was an aspiring Batman villain.


Wait, it Gets Weirder:


To truly prove he was madscientist material, Delgado went to a Cordoba and stood in front of a charging angry bull. Well, that took care of the madness part, but he was also smart enough to previously install the transmitter in the animal's head. In mid-charge, the Brain Piss Switch was activated and the ferocious animal simply stopped in its tracks and mellowed out.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk_7eTGF0N4&feature=player_embedded

You may be asking, why didn't Dr. Delgado retire to a private island, build a fortress shaped like a skull and construct a massive transmitter that would have the whole world doing his bidding? He could put all of our brains under his control and we wouldn't even know it.


The answer to that question is, of course: How do you know he didn't?

(bi tasarrof)

[SysTaMatIcS]

you meant 6 real life mad scientists