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Old 03-08-2010   #21
Jean
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.


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Old 03-08-2010   #22
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When Chuck Norris went to donate sperm, half the nurses drowned; the rest were pregnant.
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Old 03-08-2010   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jean View Post
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
ktir 2aweye haide
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Old 03-08-2010   #24
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when Chuck Norris broke up with his gf he broke her heart.... literally
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Old 03-10-2010   #25
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Chuck Norris' penis is so big that it has a penis of its own and it is still bigger than yours.

It never rains when Chuck Noris is around, if it tried he would just roundhouse kick every single raindrop

Chuck Norris is the reason that God rested on the seventh day.

There Is No Such Thing As A Lesbian, There Are Just Girls Who Haven't Met Chuck Norris

chuck norris enventd a time machine and went back to just before j.f.k. was shot, he jumped in front of the bullets and shattered them all with his beard. j.f.k. died out of pure amazement.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuvk Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris invented the beard.
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Old 03-11-2010   #26
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.


Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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Old 04-06-2010   #27
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When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
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Old 04-15-2010   #28
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Old 05-05-2010   #29
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Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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Old 05-29-2010   #30
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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