Vcoderz Community - Religions

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The Kaizeumatics squad is back in semi action and is proud to present to you:

Funny Religions:D

Basically this idea came from the fact that Athegan and I teamed up against some very twisted religious beliefs:p

How about we start by something basic:D

Scientology:D...Here's a copy of a brief report i wrote about scientology for my English Class:p

Scientology

During the freakish 1960's the name of L.Ron Hubbard was the subject of controversy. A science fiction writer turned prophet. And was the leader of a society which later grew to millions. This man is nothing but a failed college student who hated his psychology courses in college and decided to write science fiction and later on invented what he called scientology, an alternative to psychology of which he became the self proclaimed prophet later on. To top it off his holiness lived on a boat with only young boys and was busted by the F.B.I for charges including possession of narcotics, pedophilia ( scientology encourages it. To scientologists children are adults in little bodies and should be treated as adults), and racketeering,. His holiness is truly a model for us all.

I have a very sick habit of being sarcastic at every possible occasion. And this time isn't any different. Which Is why I chose scientology as a topic for this report. However I will let the truth speak for itself for once. What you are about to hear is the bare truth. Millions of people actually believe this…stuff…

It all began 75 million years ago, back then there was a galactic federation of planets ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu. Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated and so he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets and then had those aliens frozen. The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto Xenu's galactic cruisers which look like DC8 planes except with rocket engines. The cruisers then took the alien bodies to our planet, Earth, and dumped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii.

The aliens were no longer frozen, they were dead.

The Souls of those aliens, however, lived on, and all floated up towards the sky. But the evil lord Xenu had prepared for this. He didn't want their souls to return and so he built giant Soul Catchers in the sky. The souls were then taken to huge soul brainwashing facilities which Xenu had also built on earth. There the souls were forced to watch days of brainwashing material which tricked them into believing a false reality.

Xenu then released the alien souls which roamed the earth aimlessly in confusion.

At the dawn of man, the souls finally found bodies which they could grab onto.

They attached themselves to all mankind, which still today causes all our fears, our confusions and our problems.

Years later Xenu was overthrown and imprisoned in a mountain by a force field. He is thought to be imprisoned in the Pyrenees mountains of Europe.

There is no question about it. Either we are complete unsuspecting fools or psychiatrists in America could become extremely rich thanks to these people. If they can afford 240$ worth of application fees they must surely be able to afford psychological help. Should we have the time we could have given you more details on the matter but we decided to stick to the basic ideology that they follow. We might also add that many celebrities are scientologists, such as Tom Cruise, John Travolta, as well as Madonna. Scientology is one of the many growing religions that draw questions marks. We could for example talk about mormons and their holy church underwear but the underwear alone needs an hour of our time to contemplate, laugh at and simply attempt to explain. Indeed when we examine these two faiths we can no longer be surprised to know that we are only half a chromosome from being apes.

Also Included: Pics of Lord Xenu:hawhaw:

Xenu As depicted in Southpark:p

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/un..._0912_Xenu.jpg

Xenu as depicted in BBC Panorama

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...C_Panorama.jpg

Next up:p Mormons and holy church underwear and a few added details about scientology:p To be continued by Athegan:p

Re: Funny Religions

Thank you Comrade Kain for this wonderful report on the cult called Scientology....

Dear vcoderz members, we might be subjective when presenting these different religions, we are humans after all, but we will only include facts about these religions. Facts that the adherers of these religions actually believe.

There will be a weekly report about new religions, faiths and cults. We would like you to comment on what you read and please read the whole reports since they will be indeed interesting,enlightening, and,I have to say, at some points weird and funny :p

Questions you can answer in your comments: What do you think of this religion? Would you ever be an adherer of it? If you were to say a word to the person who formed this religion, what would it be? What would you say to its adherers?

Next week's report will be on Mormonism. Any suggestions are welcome via PM. Thank you...

I just can't believe it, I really don't know what to say:hizb:

All i have to say is:........LMFAO!

LMAO lool kif ellak 5ele2 tektob kel hal shi ?

ya3neh I really don't know what to say :D

Scientology Update

A few weird quotes by the "prophet" of Scientology, L.Ron Hubbard. This will help you understand the ethics of this man, at the bottom you can find the source. Please comment :D :

- "I’d like to start a religion. That’s where the money is" (1949)

- "If attacked on some vulnerable point by anyone or anything or any organization, always find or manufacture enough threat against them to cause them to sue for peace." (1960)

- "The law can be used very easily to harass, and enough harassment on somebody who is simply on the thin edge anyway, well knowing that he is not authorized, will generally be sufficient to cause his professional decease. If possible, of course, ruin him utterly." (1955)

- "When you move off a point of power, pay all your obligations on the nail, empower all your friends completely and move off with your pockets full of artillery, potential blackmail on every erstwhile rival, unlimited funds in your private account and the addresses of experienced assassins and go live in Bulgravia and bribe the police." [Bulgravia = BULgaria, GReece, Albania or YugoslaVIA] (1967)

-"When somebody enrolls, consider he or she has joined up for the duration of the universe - never permit an ‘open-minded’ approach... If they enrolled, they’re aboard, and if they’re aboard they’re here on the same terms as the rest of us - win or die in the attempt. Never let them be half minded about being Scientologists... When Mrs. Pattycake comes to us to be taught, turn that wandering doubt in her eye into a fixed, dedicated glare… The proper instruction attitude is, ‘We'd rather have you dead than incapable.’" (1965)

Source

Buhahaha lol :D :D :D :D

is that true about Scientology ?

yes:p wlak shou bek i already talked to you about them long ago:p

Google them anyway...you'll have fun:p