Vcoderz Community - Requesting a salary raise ... [Dirty Version :P]

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
P. Niss

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and upon considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are - often seen visiting
other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and - stimulated
in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as -
wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have -
completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering - and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags. :hawhaw:

Sincerely,
V. Gina