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The 7 Most Terrifyingly Huge Things in the History of Nature
The 7 Most Terrifyingly Huge Things in the History of Nature
By: David Dietle, Jacopo Della Quercia , Karl Smallwood -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We may be the undisputed kings of the food chain, but when it comes to being pant-soilingly huge, we come up a bit short. We can hang out with tiny dogs and house cats until we feel like the T-Rex of our home -- but in the back of our mind, we know; Nature has produced terrifyingly huge and horrific organisms that could kill us without noticing, either by stepping on us, accidentally swallowing us the way we might swallow a fly or simply stopping our heart with sheer terror. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- #7. A Crab as Big as Your Car They say a picture is worth a thousand words. http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58929.jpg?v=1 Japanese spider crabs possess all the most terrifying qualities of each of its namesakes. Lets just make a list, shall we? From spiders it has:In this case, almost all of them are some variation of AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
And from crabs it has:
http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58930.jpg?v=1 Via BBC "For me? Awww, Tim Burton -- you shouldn't have!" Luckily though they are only found in Japan and even then you have to go pretty deep underwater to find one. If you ever do venture that deep, you're on the crabs' home turf, but at least you could prepare properly -- those underwater flamethrower modifications are bound to work. And then you've got crab legs for the rest of the year, baby! (Tomorrow: #6.The Prehistoric Whale With 14-Inch Teeth) |
#6.The Prehistoric Whale With 14-Inch Teeth
For being the biggest animals in the ocean, whales are usually nothing more than floating islands, filter-feeding on tiny shrimp. But set your time machine back far enough, and you'll find the waters full of insanity: http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58963.jpg?v=1 Yep, Moby Dick had nothing on Livyatan Melvilli. If you haven't guessed, this thing was named after Herman Melville, and a giant sea monster from the Bible.That thing could eat humans by the handful like popcorn. http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58969.jpg?v=1 This thing was the same size and shape of a modern sperm whale (that is, four times as long as the largest great white sharks), with a head built like a battering ram and a tail as big as a small car. Only with one major difference: while the sperm whale's mouth is built for gently swallowing animals with no skeleton, Livyatan had teeth up to 14-inches long.Via Dino Rider That's not the whole animal. That's just its freaking skull. http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58964.jpg?v=1 Via Dino Rider Those are individual teeth. Holy Crap! What could a katana-toothed sperm whale eat, though? Whatever the hell it wanted to. http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58966.jpg?v=1 The Livyatan lived in a time when the ocean's whale species were growing larger and diversifying, which means Moby Monster feasted mainly on other whales. It was a hypercarnivore, which means it got 70 percent of its sustenance from meat, which puts it in the same category as big cats, eagles and sharks. Though we prefer to think "hypercarnivore" means it hunted like Gary Busey with a pound of stimulants and a mouthful of steak knives.Via Dino Rider Artist's rendition of evolution just flipping the hell out. http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58968.jpg?v=1 It shared the same oceans as another giant thank-God-for-extinction-events horror, the Megalodon. So if you decide to go swimming during your time travel adventure, your fate will either be "eaten by giant shark" or "eaten by murderous sperm whale," and in both cases, it'd probably happen because the monster accidentally devoured you while trying to eat the comparatively smaller creature that was in the process of eating you.Honestly, it doesn't even need the teeth. It could just swallow you like a pill. |
ohh..I miss these threads of urs :004:
the Shark is huuuuuuuge :| strange how Whales got all gay now when they used to be carnivores before ): |
#5.The Dinosaur that Makes Other Dinosaurs Look Like Lap Dogs
http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58952.jpg?v=1 Picture the biggest of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park (specifically, the Brachiosaurus, aka the gigantic dinosaur with the long neck). Now let's use it to give you some sense of scale as to just how huge the Amphicoelias Fragillimus was. Here's Dr. Ian Malcolm, standing next to a Brachiosaurus ... ... which was apparently just this bigger dinosaur's pet: This giant was the single largest land-based life form -- never mind dinosaur -- on record. http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58936.jpg?v=1 Via Ultrazionale The femur alone is estimated to be bigger than a grown man. Although paleontologists have nothing to work with other than a drawing of one bone from this monster, it was large enough to give us a rough idea of the obscene size of it. Do you remember this scene from King Kong? http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58934.jpg?v=1 Amphicoelias Fragillimus was not only taller than King Kong or that 'rex, it was tall enough to have walked over them. This beast was big enough to have eaten you out of a six-story window. It stretched roughly 30-feet longer than Godzilla was tall, which according to Homeland Security, registers it as a class-G movie monster.The one where Kong's pinkie crushes that woman? http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58942.jpg?v=1 Dude was taller than a Rancor with King Kong on its shoulders. (Tomorrow #4: The Thousand Pound Cat) |
i wish there were dinasours now :(
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#4.The Thousand-Pound Cat
Via Hkandy But why are we looking to the distant past and Japan for monstrous creatures that can bite you in half? They didn't all go extinct, you know. Some of them are just being invented. Like the liger. A liger, as Napoleon Dynamite fans know, is what happens when a lion and a tiger end up in the same cage and end up getting married instead of clubbing each other to death. When the offspring stands on its hind legs, it's twice as tall as a man: http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58959.jpg?v=1 Ligers are like the Blade of the big cat world; they possess all of the strengths of both parent animals and have none of their weaknesses. And "big cat" is an understatement: It's a half-ton, 12-foot-long snarling mass of muscle capable of fitting your entire screaming head in its mouth. Oh, and it moves as fast as your car goes on the highway.Via Pawsonline And considers women on stepladders to be "meat-fruit." That's right; it's reportedly capable of running 60 miles per hour. Can you run that fast? Just imagine being hit by half a ton traveling at that speed, then remember it has this attached to the end. This one is called Hercules: http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58965.jpg?v=1 Look at the scale there. Compare the lady's head with the liger's mouth.Via Dailymail Which is Roman for, "OH MY DEAR GOD, IT'S GOT MY LEG!" Hercules happened as a result of a lion and tiger getting their freak on because scientists accidentally let them breed (sure ... "accidentally"). In just three short years Hercules already massively outgrew both of his parents, presumably right before eating them. (Tomorrow :#3. Antlers twice the size of a man) |
1. is it gay or something? how come ppl keep posing with them?! :Tawa:
2. it's fugly! it sure does posses the best of both but that doesn't apply on the beauty bit ): |
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#3.Antlers Twice the Size of a Man
If there existed an award for "Most Underrated Badass" in the animal kingdom, the winner would probably be deer. We always think of Bambi when we see one, but these guys charge their way through adolescence in a blood orgy of hormone-fueled, antler-clashing mayhem. But even the most badass trophy bucks of modern times pale in comparison to the beasts our ancient brethren tangled with: http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58938.jpg?v=1 You see, back in the day, deer were essentially bears with what can only be called "antlers" in the Crocodile Dundee School of Zoology -- meaning that if you think deer today have massive antlers, well ...One of many reasons why man invented the cannon. Say hello to Megaloceros Giganteus: the Irish elk. This enormous Eurasian monster is the largest deer we know about, and it was easily recognized by the two insane war-axes growing out of its skull. Why did their antlers get so big? Why else? To get freaky eaky eaky! http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58939.jpg?v=1 While it is believed that the Irish elk already had large antlers to begin with, it should come as no surprise that only elks sporting the largest weaponry were able to win enough primeval brawls to pump out a few heirs. By modern standards, this would be like bringing an AT-AT to a knife-fight, and to the winner went home with Bambi's mother.Via BBC If women aren't impressed by them, there's something wrong with the women. Imagine hitting one of those beasts with your Acura, never mind having one jump inside your home, place of business or kids' elementary school. Of course, our ancestors didn't come across any of them within the confines of a car. So now picture crossing paths with one of these maulers during mating season, armed with nothing but a sharpened stick. See how well you match up against proto-Bambi. http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../58940.jpg?v=1 Via Licornenoir All of a sudden, getting shot off-screen doesn't sound so bad. (Tomorrow: #2.Sperm 20 Times the Size of the Creature it Comes From] |
and #1 is Fouad el Sanioura :D
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