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ABOU EL ABED write an essay in english:P

Abou El Abed was asked by his instructor to write an essay in english about any interesting encounter that happened recently with him.
So he wrote in a classical translation from Arabic to English:

From some 2 months 3 I reconized a girl in the tooth of the elephant(sen l fil). She was other look and like the moon!Burn her religion(ye7re2 dina) what beautiful. I tried to touch her pulse to see if there is space and it appeared that she is interested.The first day I talked her on the phone and the second day she invited me on the lunch I asked her "what you kitchenized?"(shou tab5a)She said "some of his mother's yoghurt on the walking"(shwayyet laban 2emmo 3al meshe) I liked her project and before I arrived to her, I went to the Milker(al 7allab) annd bought some "lady's arms"(znoud l sett) and some "eat and say thank you"(kol w shkor)She opened the door and when she saw the handsome(l 7elo) in my hand she said"yiiiii! your hands be safe why torture yourself my uncle?" While we are eating, rang the door bell. She opened the door and entered her old boyfriend. He asked her"who is he?", she said"not your entry" I knew straight he wanted to problemize it(baddo ymashkela) He said"my eye on you and on him, I will count God not create you!"(be7soub alla ma 5ala2ik) I said "look, my head does not carry me, break the evil before the gypsy milk goes up huh! Go pave the sea(ballet l ba7er) and bleach from my face now!" The man felt on his blood(7ass 3a dammo) and left the room. In the truth, he poisoned my body(sammale badane) very much.But the girl gave breakfast to my nerves(rawwa2et 2a3sabe)She said"don't carry worry put your hands in cold water" I told her "like my foot,(mitel 2ejre) tell me, are you empty tonight?" she said"yes, I emptify myself for you". I told her "thank you my love, you are very digestible(mahdoume)