[The Lizard King]

A Blonde's Year in Review
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.... Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.... box said '2-4 years!'
April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups ofwater won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital ofCalifornia is 'C'.....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hourper pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 ..... 'duh'.....there's no 'eleven'Button on the stupid phone!!!