I have to mention first that I've been a fan of most of the genres listed here at different stages of my life...but eventually people grow up
:
1- Rap: Modernized versions of tribal african beats with some convict speaking over the beats about how he steals money to spend on ****s. This is usually accompanied with video clips containing but not limited to: cellulite-butt female dancers, semi-human male dancers and a lot of fake jewelery.
2- Rock: A genre of music that was widespread before computers came out. Most rock fans are 45 or older today. Annoying off key guitar noises come hand-in-hand with a white nerd yelling the lyrics to give this genre its uniquely garbage flavor. It is advised that you be drunk, or dead, before you listen to real rock. As for the softer rock versions like...uhm...soft rock, you might as well come out of the closet and say that you are a gay homosexual queer if you want to listen to this...
3- Heavy Metal/Thrash Metal/Death Metal/Black Metal: ..and all other varieties of not-so-precious metals. Usually a good way for teenagers and young adults to get anger out of their system by listenning to extremist music. Most of the people in these bands are normal people in real life. Married, have kids, shit some of them even go to church (Slayer, look it up). While they are like that, in their songs they pretend to be satanic evil murderers who eat a kid every morning and burn a church every night. Most listeners of this genre are crazy due to severe brain cell damage from headbanging...
4- Country: Originally the music mostly listened to and played by corn and tobacco farmers and sheep molesters. Boring and uncreative, all you need is a guitar with only two strings left on it and a guy/girl with a heavy southern accent and you've got yourself a country music band. Today, the genre is seeing a slight revival that happens to coincide with electing a black president in the US which pushed white people back to their racist music.
5- Techno/Trance: and all kinds of 'music' relying on repetitive beats, screeching sounds and DJs with gay names. One of the common side effects of being high on marijuana is finding all food delicious and one of the side effects of ecstasy is finding everything around u nice, especially this genre. This genre makes no sense without the lights and the ecstasy. Note: These genres are proven to be disastrous to one's IQ (I am not making this up, I swear I read it in a magazine)
6- Pop/R&B/HipHop: Although three totally different genres, the three of them appeal to the same audience and the three genres are the money-makers today for the music industry people. Singers in these three categories can sing about anything and they will find a flock of girls between 9 and 26 willing to buy their crap. This genre sets the mood of teenagers and the youth and is extremely influential. If you ever wonder why people are becoming really stupid, listen to the lyrics in those songs.
7- Blues: Another dead genre that used to really mean something. Today it is gone and what is left of it is just some kind of weird ugly sounds claiming to be the blues. RIP BB King. The blues are dead.