[Kain]

#2.Toads

We've all heard the old one about licking toads. You may have even seen that kid around the playground, the one who burned down his parents' garage trying to make crystal meth and totally peeked in the girl's bathroom in fourth grade, pick up a startled amphibian and lick its slimy back as if he had found it in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

Didn't you just wish you were as cool as that guy as you stood there in your pee-stained Spider-Man tracksuit? No? Just us?


OK, but no need for regret here. According to science, licking a toad doesn't actually do anything but make everyone around you seriously uncomfortable (the toad included). However, if you do run into a toad (specifically one of the Pokemon-named Bufo family), take note of the horn-like protrusions behind its head. Those are glands by which the toad produces its toxic payload, known as bufotoxins. In other words, this toad has poison horns, which is approximately as metal as a dragon's brow ring.

Unfortunately, from this angle you can't see his Danzig back tattoo.

As you have probably guessed, bufotoxins can get you seriously high, as some enterprizing space cadets discovered by squeezing the foamy goo out of the toad's horns, drying into a film and smoking it.


The composition of bufotoxin is similar to what is found in some mushrooms, a mixture that includes both DMT and epinephrine. This basically means that a hallucinogen and an adrenergic are joining forces like Chuck Norris and Lou Gosset, Jr. in Firewalker to kick the crap out of your mind. The drug is so intense that unlike most of the entries on this list, extracting and trafficking bufotoxins is ranked right up there with heroin and cocaine on the Against-the-Law-O-Meter.