I opened this thread for users to post medical jokes, funny incidents that may have happened to them, or someone they know ...
So Here we go:
Appendectomy is simple
"Do you mind telling me why you ran away from the operating room?" the hospital administator asked the patient.
"Because the nurse said, "Don't be afraid! An appendectomy is quite simple."
"So ...?" exclaimed the man...
"She was talking to the doctor!!!!"
A List of Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:
- Oops!
- Has anyone seen my watch?
- Come back with that! Bad Dog!
- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
- Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingy
- What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!
- Damn, there go the lights again...
- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
- What do you mean, he's not insured?
- Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"
- What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
Doctors' fees
A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation.
The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it.
The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $5000.
The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs.
The doctor sent back a list with two things: 1 screw $ 1 ... Knowing how to put it in $4999 ... $5000 total ... The businessman never argued.
Comparing Childhood Surgeries
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!" The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision." The second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"
Spell error..
A Psychotherapist, starting from scratch, was having such success in his business that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him and put it above his shop entrance. But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he began to understand why! The boy found a small wooden board so he had to split the word in 3 places.
The sign read: PSYCHO-THE-RAPIST
To Be Continued ...
Thank You ..