Married Nuns A man suffered a heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. Post surgery he woke up to find himself under the care of nuns at a Catholic private hospital.
On his way to recovery, a senior nun and her pretty assitant came up to him and asked him regarding how he was going to pay for services.
He was asked if he had health insurance. he replied in a raspy weak voice, "No"
The nun asked if he had any money in the bank. He replied, "No" The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?" He said, "I only have a spinster sister who is also a nun."
The junior nun got a little perturbed and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to the lord." The patient replied, "Then please send the bill to my brother in law."
Heart Surgeon vs. Mechanic
In a car garage, where a famous heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to take a look at his Mercedes, there was a loud mouthed mechanic who was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car. He saw the surgeon waiting and lured him into an argument.
He asked the doc after straightening up and wiping his hands on a rag, "Look at this car i'm working on. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind them, put in new parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get the big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon very calmly leaned over and whispered to the loudmouth mechanic, "Try doing it with the engine running."
How to charge?
An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer: "As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say '$75.' If his eyes don't flutter, say... 'For the frames. The lenses will be $50.' If his eyes still don't flutter, you add... 'Each'
Peanuts!Peanuts!
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts." She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off 'em.
To Be Continued ...
Thank You ...