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Old 08-24-2010   #11
Kain
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#1.J. Walter Christie's Flying Tank





Walter Christie was an American engineer who developed a tank suspension system, Christie suspension, which gave Russian, American and British tanks a considerably tactical advantage in World War II. Because of Christie's innovations, Allied tanks were faster, more agile and able to traverse longer distances than their Axis counterparts.


Christie also invented a transversely mounted engine/transmission assembly so ahead of its time it wouldn't be fully appreciated until 50 years later. He made a lot of innovations to motorized vehicles, but tanks were really his thing.




There's an old saying that goes something like "once you find out what you're good at, keep doing it for the rest of your life." Christie's folly proves that advice isn't always so good. See, Christie was good at making tanks, so when it came to thinking up a new kind of vehicle to soar above modern battlefields, he thought "TANKS."


The idea was to drag the flying tank behind a big plane, or stash it in the plane's belly, then let it drop and glide gently to the ground while raining hellfire on your enemy. Once it touched ground it would shed its wings, or not, because a tank with wings would make the opposing army crap its pants in pure awe.


Of course, people would have to be nuts and not just a little drunk to even consider such a vehicle for their military. Luckily there are the Russians, who fit that "drunken crazy" bill to a T. The Russians took interest in the idea because they were looking for way to cut back on their parachute budget.



They'd already trimmed the shirt budget as low as it would go.

You see, the price of silk, which is the central material in parachutes, was apparently a little steep for their miserly budgets, so they had been experimenting with dropping soldiers out of planes without parachutes, shoving them out of aircraft with nothing but a bottle of vodka and the instruction to drink until they can fly. If the Russians could drop their boys out of a plane inside a tank they'd save big, because a tank is totally cheaper than a silk sheet.


The problem here, as you almost certainly have already guessed, is that you either have a decently armored winged tank that would plummet straight to hell or a light-weight tank made of paper Mache and held together with unicorn wishes.



Wait, are we supposed to be mocking this idea? Because holy crap! Look at it!

(bi tasarrof)
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