Dear ...../sincerly jokes

[NAN]

Dear Lebanese Policemen,

If all the world’s policemen were like you, we wouldn’t have had hits like Bad Boys, Lethal Weapon, and Beverly Hills Cop.

Ps. Your “Keresh” is unjustifiable, un-sexy, and uncalled for – diet.

Sincerely,
Hollywood


Dear Lebanese Politicians,

Kindly, each, answer our survey’s questions:
a) Were you breastfed as a child?
b) Did you get your fair share of playtime on the monkey bars?

Sincerely,
The NIMH (National Instituteof MentalHealth)



Dear Hairy Man,

Before you sue my manufacturer, I plead with you to try out laser hair removal (or a lawn mower). This is beyond my capabilities.

Sincerely,
Your Broken Razor Blade


Dear Ugly/Obese woman,

I understand that beauty is only skin deep, but you deserve a fine for what you’re doing to me every morning. I quit.

Sincerely,
Your Bedroom Mirror


Dear Botox Babe,

Whenever you shed a tear over your facial wrinkles, remember this: maybe you could consider investing in some sun block lotion the next time you decide to rape me. It’s a lot more convenient and affordable than all those botox needles.

Sincerely,
The Sun



Dear vcoderz' funny stuff uploaders,

I never realized you were my number 1 competitor in the Lebanese market. Ease off a little, will ya?

Sincerely,
Sense of Humor


Dear Motorist,

I thought I looked stupid until I stood at the side of the road and watched your mouth move as you sang along to the radio. Your facial expressions seemed as though you were in agonizing pain (giving birth through your rectum perhaps). Next time you want to roll up your windows and condescendingly ignore me, just think of that.

Sincerely,
The Flower Boy



Dear Pussy boy,

We would like to be detached from you. Not only do we feel invisible and useless, but there are possibly coconuts out there that deserve us more than you do.

Sincerely,
Your Balls



Dear Waz-waz,

Last I checked I had two wheels. Keep ‘em both on the ground, or try hopping around on one foot for a change.

Sincerely,
Your Angry Moped


Dear Man with Bad Breath,

I am so glad I was already dead before I entered your (bat cave)mouth.

Sincerely,
Salmon Sashimi



Dear Filipino Nanny,

You cook, you clean, you watch after my kids. I should have just married you instead of my wife (the woman who spends all my money and never sleeps with me).

Sincerely,
The Husband (who has had enough)



Dear Traffic and Mosquitoes,

Your lack of purpose and annoyingness shall be my revenge on mankind for destroying Mother Nature.

Sincerely,
Planet Earth



Dear Iceberg,

Sorry about global warming…. karma sucks.

Sincerely,
The Titanic


Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely,
1985


Dear Reader,

Please do not feel offended in any way unless you are a salmon sashimi, or a broken razor blade.

Sincerely,
The 1% of Me That Actually Cares


“Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.”

[TAREK®]

Dear Prof,
Before you call me up and scare me half to death with news that I failed my final, why don’t you mark it first?
Sincerely, Barely Passed


Dear Woman of My Dreams,
I can’t find you.
Sincerely, Insomniac