Vcoderz Community
We create websites that have it all, beauty & brains
Lebanon Web Design & Development - Coddict
 

Go Back   Vcoderz Community > Community Forums > Funny Stuff

Notices

Funny Stuff Ŧ Funny pictures, loops, videos, jokes... ŧ

Reply
 
Share Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 08-20-2011   #101
TAREKŪ
~ Golden Boy ~
 
TAREKŪ's Avatar
 
Last Online: 06-14-2013
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,464
Thanks: 11,906
Thanked 5,073 Times in 3,294 Posts
Groans: 190
Groaned at 82 Times in 72 Posts
Default

A criminal came into bedroom, tied up husband & wife, kissed wife's ear & went to bathroom.
Husband to Wife: "Satisfy him or he will kill us. Be Strong I Love u.."
Wife: He didn't kiss me, he whispered in my ear that he's Gay, needs Vaseline & I told him it's in bathroom....So, Be Strong I Love u too


__________________
Glory Glory Man United - Always A Red Devil
TAREKŪ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to TAREKŪ For This Useful Post:
Confucius (08-20-2011), H@SSāN (08-22-2011), Justin (02-17-2012), SysTaMatIcS (08-20-2011)
Old 08-21-2011   #102
TAREKŪ
~ Golden Boy ~
 
TAREKŪ's Avatar
 
Last Online: 06-14-2013
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,464
Thanks: 11,906
Thanked 5,073 Times in 3,294 Posts
Groans: 190
Groaned at 82 Times in 72 Posts
Default

Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more, much more!

After surgery, when the girl woke up, only her father is next to her bed.

Girl: Where is he?
Father: You don't know who gave you the heart?
Girl: What? (She starts crying)
Father: I'm just kidding, he went to the toilet
__________________
Glory Glory Man United - Always A Red Devil
TAREKŪ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to TAREKŪ For This Useful Post:
Abruzzy (08-23-2011), Justin (02-17-2012), mr_j (10-15-2011), SysTaMatIcS (08-22-2011)
Old 09-22-2011   #103
TAREKŪ
~ Golden Boy ~
 
TAREKŪ's Avatar
 
Last Online: 06-14-2013
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,464
Thanks: 11,906
Thanked 5,073 Times in 3,294 Posts
Groans: 190
Groaned at 82 Times in 72 Posts
Default

A wife invited her husband to a strip club for his b'day.

Doorman: Hey Jim! How r u?
Wife: How does he know u?
Jim: We play Golf!

Barman: The usual Jim?
Jim to his wife: He's on the Darts Team!

Lap Dancer: The special again Jim?

The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her & jumps into a taxi..>

Driver: Hey Jimmy boy..
U picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel?
__________________
Glory Glory Man United - Always A Red Devil
TAREKŪ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to TAREKŪ For This Useful Post:
Justin (02-17-2012), mr_j (10-15-2011), SysTaMatIcS (09-22-2011)
Old 10-15-2011   #104
mr_j
Community Moderator
 
mr_j's Avatar
 
Last Online: 3 Weeks Ago
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,518
Thanks: 3,021
Thanked 2,076 Times in 1,156 Posts
Groans: 7
Groaned at 34 Times in 27 Posts
Default

God will save me:
A man climbs fast to the roof of his house which is being over-run by flood waters. A boat comes by and the person in it offers to take the man. The man replies: "No thanks. God will save me."

The water keeps rising and reaches the man's neck. A helicopter comes by to save the man and he replies: "No thanks. God will save me."

The man drowns and goes to heaven. There he asks God: "I believed in you. Why did you not save me?"

God answers: "I sent you a boat. I sent you a helicopter. What else did you want me to do?"
__________________
"Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it. "
-Mark Twain
mr_j is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to mr_j For This Useful Post:
Justin (02-17-2012), SysTaMatIcS (10-15-2011)
Old 11-03-2011   #105
H@SSāN
حـسـا ن
 
H@SSāN's Avatar
 
Last Online: 05-07-2014
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,594
Thanks: 2,264
Thanked 953 Times in 586 Posts
Groans: 56
Groaned at 38 Times in 27 Posts
Default

Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you all are nothing!
Electricity: Keep talking bitches….
__________________
http://forum.vcoderz.com/best-trance-2011-t21339/index.html
H@SSāN is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to H@SSāN For This Useful Post:
Sary (11-07-2011)
Old 11-08-2011   #106
TAREKŪ
~ Golden Boy ~
 
TAREKŪ's Avatar
 
Last Online: 06-14-2013
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,464
Thanks: 11,906
Thanked 5,073 Times in 3,294 Posts
Groans: 190
Groaned at 82 Times in 72 Posts
Default

My girlfriend invited me to her house. I found her sister alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy and whispered in my ear, “I have feelings for you, shall we have sex?”, I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car. I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: “You’ve won my trust” - Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car
__________________
Glory Glory Man United - Always A Red Devil
TAREKŪ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to TAREKŪ For This Useful Post:
Adam (11-08-2011), Sary (11-08-2011), SysTaMatIcS (11-09-2011)
Old 11-13-2011   #107
H@SSāN
حـسـا ن
 
H@SSāN's Avatar
 
Last Online: 05-07-2014
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,594
Thanks: 2,264
Thanked 953 Times in 586 Posts
Groans: 56
Groaned at 38 Times in 27 Posts
Default

Recently an asteroid narrowly missed earth by 201,000.00 Miles.
Scientists have named it.... Fernando Torres
__________________
http://forum.vcoderz.com/best-trance-2011-t21339/index.html
H@SSāN is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to H@SSāN For This Useful Post:
Justin (02-17-2012), Sary (11-13-2011), TAREKŪ (11-13-2011), Tawa (11-24-2011)
Old 11-24-2011   #108
Tawa
 
Tawa's Avatar
 
Last Online: 08-02-2018
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 6,245
Thanks: 2,120
Thanked 3,365 Times in 1,740 Posts
Groans: 29
Groaned at 44 Times in 35 Posts
Default

A company boss is talking to another:
- How come your employees always arrive on time?
- Easy, there are 30 employees and only 20 parking spaces!
__________________
What we do in life, echoes in eternity.
Tawa is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Tawa For This Useful Post:
Sary (11-25-2011), SysTaMatIcS (11-24-2011), TAREKŪ (11-24-2011)
Old 11-29-2011   #109
H@SSāN
حـسـا ن
 
H@SSāN's Avatar
 
Last Online: 05-07-2014
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,594
Thanks: 2,264
Thanked 953 Times in 586 Posts
Groans: 56
Groaned at 38 Times in 27 Posts
Default

Being his first trip to China, a guy was having tremendous communicatiom problems. He wanted to order an apple juice restaurant but the waitress couldn't understand a word. He thought of an idea, he pointed at the iphone hanging by her neck and made an action of squeezing. The girl blushed, went to the kitchen and brought milk.
__________________
http://forum.vcoderz.com/best-trance-2011-t21339/index.html
H@SSāN is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to H@SSāN For This Useful Post:
SysTaMatIcS (11-29-2011)
Old 12-11-2011   #110
H@SSāN
حـسـا ن
 
H@SSāN's Avatar
 
Last Online: 05-07-2014
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,594
Thanks: 2,264
Thanked 953 Times in 586 Posts
Groans: 56
Groaned at 38 Times in 27 Posts
Default

A Texas DPS Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway.
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.
He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.
Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.
He also immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, he walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's side window.
The young man lowers his window and mutters, "Uh, yes, Officer"?
The trooper asks: 'What are you doing'?
The young man says: 'Well, Sir, I'm reading a magazine'.
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat, the trooper says: 'And her in the back, what is she doing'?
The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails'.
Now the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone in a car at night, in a lover's lane ... and nothing obscene is happening! The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man'?
The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir'. The trooper asks: 'And her ... what's her age'?
The young man looks at his watch and replies: 'She'll be 18 in 11 minutes...
__________________
http://forum.vcoderz.com/best-trance-2011-t21339/index.html
H@SSāN is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to H@SSāN For This Useful Post:
Adam (12-11-2011), SysTaMatIcS (12-11-2011)
Reply

  Vcoderz Community > Community Forums > Funny Stuff

Tags
english, jokes



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:46 AM.


Lebanon web design and development
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Ad Management plugin by RedTyger
Share