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Old 09-17-2010   #11
Kain
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#2.Sergei S. Bryukhonenko, Zombie Dog Inventor





The Scientist:
Dr. Bryukhonenko was a Soviet scientist during the Stalin era, and is credited as the inventor of the first primitive heart-lung machine called the autojektor. The machine was used to help perform the first Soviet open heart surgery.
He was also one of the heads of the Research Institute of Experimental Surgery. A Soviet experimental surgeon? Why, how could this possibly turn into unthinkable horror?


The Madness:


It is very important to understand what a heart-lung machine is supposed to do: to sustain life through artificial means. So the only logical way to test such a machine would be to transplant some life out of a living creature, which is just our way of saying, "Sergei killed aloooot of dogs."




With time, his research lab was filled with hundreds of dead Lassies, Old Yellers, Rin Tin Tins and... that's all the famous dogs we remember.
In a series of.... no wait, we got one more! Benji! He was kinda famous, right? How about BINGO?? I mean they totally made a song about that one right?!?!?!


Anyway, in a series of experiments some would describe as revolutionary and others as "OH MY GOD, NO!" Sergei started to cut out the canine's organs, hook them up to his machine, and keep them alive outside the body.




Wait, it Gets Weirder:
Sergei's most famous experiment, however, was the video documented "Dog's Head." In it, a freshly severed dog's head was placed on the table and connected to Sergei's Genesis Machine (fueled by the sorrow of orphans). The machine brought the head back to life. Fully responsive.
For the sake of future audiences, the ghoulish screams of sadness and terror from both the audience and the dog were edited out, or so we assume.
The living head responded fully to various outside stimuli and even accepted a treat from the staff... which in a cartoonish fashion fell out right behind it. Of course creating living heads is pure mad scientist territory, but you know what would make it even better/creepier? If Sergei created zombie dogs. Like he totally did.

(bi tasarrof)


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Old 09-18-2010   #12
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uffffffffffffffffff that's INSANE!!! the Video whoa! seriously lol this should be number 1 !! if number 1 isn't a dude who turned prostitutes into little girls and sell them, then he ain't gonna beat this dude!
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Old 09-18-2010   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Confucius View Post
uffffffffffffffffff that's INSANE!!! the Video whoa! seriously lol this should be number 1 !! if number 1 isn't a dude who turned prostitutes into little girls and sell them, then he ain't gonna beat this dude!
some suggest the video is fake , cause the dog is moving is head with no neck that has the necessary muscles to move the head
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Old 09-20-2010   #14
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#1.Robert J. White, Brain Transplant Specialist





The Scientist:
Dr. Robert J. White is an American surgeon famed for his expertise in the field of transplantology. His years of research into the human nervous system and the brain lead to the discovery of a spinal cord cooling process used by almost all medical institutions today.
He is retired now, but for over 40 years he was a neurological surgery professor for Case Western Reserve University medical school where... oh who are we kidding, you don't care about this, right? Let's just get to...


The Madness:


In 1962, Dr. White was the first person to succeed in removing the brain of a dog and keeping it alive outside the body. The canine gray blob was hooked up to a brain wave monitor which proved that, yes, it was still active and full of thoughts. Whether the thoughts were centered around confused panic and pleas to kill it remain unverified though implied.
Then, in 1964, Dr. White further succeeded in freaking out everyone around him by transplanting the brain of one dog into the neck of another. Silly doctor, brains go in the skull, not the neck. He must have been quite embarrassed when that was pointed out to him.
While the experiment proved that an alien brain can be kept alive in a host's body, unfortunately it did not create a dog smart enough to write Internet comedy.



Our retirement plan.

Wait, it Gets Weirder:


In the 70s, after a series of experiments, White succeeded in transplanting the head of one monkey onto the body of another one. Take a moment to let that sink in. OK, the monkey only lived for a few days, but since then White has repeated his experiment, proving that his monkey heads could basically survive indefinitely with its new host body. Too bad he had to euthanize them because they were all paralyzed.


Unfortunately, all of you who were just packing to stalk Vin Diesel's apartment in hopes of wearing him like a new suit, please, put the syringes and saws down.
Modern medicine is still unable to repair nerve damage resulting from severing the spinal cord during the transplant, so all of the monkeys from the experiments ended up paralyzed from the neck down. BUT, if you feel the life of a quadriplegic is a small price to pay to have girls all over your (totally unresponsive) Vin Diesel junk, Dr. White was kind enough to provide a step-by-step guide for you.


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