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Old 12-12-2009   #1
mr_j
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Default is life incomplete without marriage?

well it seems like the social norm, you graduate, get a job, save some money, then at 30 max get married live in a house independatly and then watch your kids restart that cycle

is that the point of life? get married and have kids? would life be incomplete and unsatisfiying without marriage?

I mean sure if can be lonely livign alone, but marriage is not exactly sugar.

first of all your expenses would at least triple if you are married with children rather than livign alone. if you were single and making 1000 $ a month, you'd live a pretty comfrotable life(assuming you do your own cooking and cleaning too ) if you were married, 1000$ is nothing. you will work day and night and feel liek you're not making any money at all, you will live with less luxury(if any) etc...

second, your partner(wife/husband) might not be the good person you thought they were, and your life with them might end up hellish

third, your kids might disappoint you, embarrass you, not turn out like you wanted them to be, and they might tragicly die young and then you'd go into a depression

another question which is related, concernign women, would women still go to work after marriage? would you guys be ok with your wife havign a job after marriage?

awaiting opinions


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Old 12-13-2009   #2
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Very important thread.

As matter of fact this subject falls into traditions category.

The society has drawn us a specific way of living, seeing people repeating it everyday makes you feel that's the way to happiness could be reached by:

Getting your degree > Find a decent job > Get married > Raise children > Get retired

Anything that is out of this is risky, weird and crazy.

The man role in life is to go to work and make living to the family and take decisions, the woman role is to raise the kids, clean the house and keep her husband satisfied.

Sadly, that's how things are.

The point here is that there's no strict holy jobs for every individual, it's either you want to live your life the way you want or live your life in the eyes of the others.
  • Some men see it disappointing if their women have more income than them.
  • Some people would even doubt a man's manhood if he shares taking care of the kids, clean the house and cook (marto 7ekmeto).
  • A man asking his wife's opinion and plan together is "Mish rejjel, marto bet2arir" LOL
  • A single man or woman aged 30+ is weird
  • A successful woman is weird
  • A divorced woman or man is weird
As you can see, everything that does not fit with the traditions is weird and the worse is that most people change their way of living to avoid "the tongues of the people" and prefer to go with the flow.
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Old 12-13-2009   #3
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ok, any more answers?
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Old 12-13-2009   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xcoder View Post
Very important thread.

As matter of fact this subject falls into traditions category.

The society has drawn us a specific way of living, seeing people repeating it everyday makes you feel that's the way to happiness could be reached by:

Getting your degree > Find a decent job > Get married > Raise children > Get retired

Anything that is out of this is risky, weird and crazy.

The man role in life is to go to work and make living to the family and take decisions, the woman role is to raise the kids, clean the house and keep her husband satisfied.

Sadly, that's how things are.

The point here is that there's no strict holy jobs for every individual, it's either you want to live your life the way you want or live your life in the eyes of the others.
  • Some men see it disappointing if their women have more income than them.
  • Some people would even doubt a man's manhood if he shares taking care of the kids, clean the house and cook (marto 7ekmeto).
  • A man asking his wife's opinion and plan together is "Mish rejjel, marto bet2arir" LOL
  • A single man or woman aged 30+ is weird
  • A successful woman is weird
  • A divorced woman or man is weird
As you can see, everything that does not fit with the traditions is weird and the worse is that most people change their way of living to avoid "the tongues of the people" and prefer to go with the flow.
Isn't this the way things have always been? Not the rules themselves but the fact that people change their life to adjust to society.
I believe that this is just how we, humans, are.
We are social creatures, thus we live by the rules of society, there is nothing wrong with that.
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Old 12-13-2009   #5
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yeah but you would get married just to fit in?
I mean what if you became 35, and you still haven't found someone, and you're not even datig someone, would you rush into marrying just about anyone that passes by to fit in?

or what if you were too poor to get married, would yu feel sad? left out? would you take loans and a risk and get married anyway?
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Old 12-13-2009   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_j View Post
is that the point of life? get married and have kids? would life be incomplete and unsatisfiying without marriage?

first of all your expenses would at least triple if you are married with children rather than livign alone. if you were single and making 1000 $ a month, you'd live a pretty comfrotable life(assuming you do your own cooking and cleaning too ) if you were married, 1000$ is nothing. you will work day and night and feel liek you're not making any money at all, you will live with less luxury(if any) etc...
The way I see it is that there are two courses in life, be a family man or be a business man.

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Originally Posted by mr_j View Post
I mean sure if can be lonely livign alone, but marriage is not exactly sugar.
The honeymoon is sugar, the rest is salt
(Kidding)

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Originally Posted by mr_j View Post
second, your partner(wife/husband) might not be the good person you thought they were, and your life with them might end up hellish
People usually lie a lot or hide who they really are while dating. Big mistake if you want a relationship to end in marriage.

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Originally Posted by mr_j View Post
third, your kids might disappoint you, embarrass you, not turn out like you wanted them to be, and they might tragicly die young and then you'd go into a depression
Only a fraction of the people I know who have children are fit to be parents. Most are either too strict or too loose when it comes to "el-terbeje". There is either the "You're-my-kid-therefore-I-own-you" parents or the "I'm-your-friend-I'll-let-you-do-anything" parents, both cases the kid ends up a scum.

Raise your kid like a parent and respect his choices in life or don't have any at all.

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another question which is related, concernign women, would women still go to work after marriage? would you guys be ok with your wife havign a job after marriage?
This is kind of old, one more generation and this won't be an issue in most societies.
Women didn't have any rights before, that did change but you can't expect it to change over night. This is something that changed the entire structure of society, whether you like it or not, it will take time.
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Old 12-13-2009   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_j View Post
yeah but you would get married just to fit in?
I mean what if you became 35, and you still haven't found someone, and you're not even datig someone, would you rush into marrying just about anyone that passes by to fit in?
I don't want to get married mainly for two reasons, the first is that I want to have a stable economy and I don't want to rely on somebody else, the second is that I don't see my self fit to start a family. These are good reasons not to get married (not that you need one). Even if I wanted to get married, I wouldn't because of the second reason. If more people could take the time and analyse themselves before taking such a huge step, the world would be so much better of.

I'm not planning on getting married and I won't change it because of society.
I know that I will be seen as different by most people but that doesn't bother me because I would be different.


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or what if you were too poor to get married, would yu feel sad? left out?
If I wanted to get married, yes I think I would be sad. That would be like someone saying to me that I can't complete my education.
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would you take loans and a risk and get married anyway?
That would be the height of stupidity. You wouldn't only be making your life miserable but your wife's and your children's as well.
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Old 12-13-2009   #8
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I dont see any Girl Posting in here !!!!!
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Old 12-13-2009   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_j View Post
is that the point of life? get married and have kids? would life be incomplete and unsatisfiying without marriage?

I mean sure if can be lonely livign alone, but marriage is not exactly sugar.

first of all your expenses would at least triple if you are married with children rather than livign alone. if you were single and making 1000 $ a month, you'd live a pretty comfrotable life(assuming you do your own cooking and cleaning too ) if you were married, 1000$ is nothing. you will work day and night and feel liek you're not making any money at all, you will live with less luxury(if any) etc...

second, your partner(wife/husband) might not be the good person you thought they were, and your life with them might end up hellish

third, your kids might disappoint you, embarrass you, not turn out like you wanted them to be, and they might tragicly die young and then you'd go into a depression
you remind me of Mr Sa3id on "Erbet Tenhal"
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Old 12-14-2009   #10
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I have two opinions, and i think the future might decide it all.

1- Getting married: Alright, I understand what mr_j's point of view (marriage = waja3 rass). Now, take it as your OWN BENEFIT. What if you were a successful businessman with a hard worker wife and children that came or grew up to be what you have exactly wanted them to be?? why being so pessimistic about this issue?? Think and BE positive and I'll be sure if u went and tried the best you got, u will turn out the WINNER with successful children.
PS: Now you will tell me "LIFE IS NOT PERFECT". Everyone in his own opinion has a way of vision regarding "PERFECTION". It all depends on the way you sees it.

Let's say your wife was not THE ONE. Then its your and her problem. Its both of you who chose to get married with your own opinion n actions, no one forced any of you to get married. so you pay for your decisions! Its like an investment, you either win or lose. LUCK has nothing to do with it.
Furthermore, the kids: he might turn out a thug, or she might turn out a *****. it ALWAYS depends on THE WAY you have RAISED them. What they come or what they choose to be is always based on the way they have been raised. Trust me on this one.

2- Not Getting married: This is the perfect vision for a guy to imagine, you will be responsible only of yourself, you will come n go, do whatever u want, no limits (ma hadan y2ellak wen rayi7 wen jeye). but take it as this, what would u do at the age of 50?? 60?? even 70 if u stood alive? Will your money take care of u and not being fooled n get robed by some passing-by-woman or etc... ??

Take it in a selfish way if u want, don't u want to end up seeing your children very successful and see your grandchildren too and know that they are beside you when you're at the edge of death? Or u wanna die, or get sick, or even stay alive JUST YOUR OWN.

Personnaly, i don't see myself alone because if there is one thing i cannot stand in the world is LONELINESS. so I think i have a benefit by getting married and having a loving wife and successful children that are here for me and that i am here for all of them (Marry the one i love and see my kids grow up & NOT BEING ALONE = 3asfouren bi 7ajar wa7ad). That is my friend the life of a successful businessman.

[edited] As for the question concerning the wife and work. I don't think there is anyone with a commonsense would wants his wife to stay at home and just TAKE CARE of the house. they can both do it, and they can both work so bala habal
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Last edited by Justin; 12-14-2009 at 12:59 AM. Reason: grammaire
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