Funny Jokes #2

[yaleil]

michael jackson and debbie were in the maternity ward just after debbie gave birth to a child. michael asked her: " how long do u think it will be before we can have sex? " debbie replied, "jeez michael, give it a chance to walk first"

[Jean]

nice joke about 3ammo fouad
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[Rami_s]

[The Lizard King]

No Spikka Inglish
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come
together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come
together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I
come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed wop swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this Country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives...... "
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'
abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella
'Mississippi'."
I BET YOU READ THIS AGAIN!!!!

[The Lizard King]

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every
time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
> >>> >>
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured
she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while
they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she
turned on the lights.
> >>> >>
She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a
battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and
larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You
impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to
me all of these years? You better explain
yourself!"
> >>> >>
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll
explain the toy . . you explain the kids."

[Rami_s]

[yaleil]

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.

They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.

At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"


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A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"&&** off!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money" and she tried to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse poop all over her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse poop from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

"Well," she said, "I hope you've got a mighty good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning."

[yaleil]

Qhy wasn't the computer allowed to drive?

A:Because he kept crashing!

[Rannouch]

واحد ندل قعد لمده سنه يتحايل على حبيبته مشان تخرج معاه
ولما وافقت راح قال لأبوها

a stranger to a woman(romantically);whisper those three words that will make me walk on air;woman(furiously). GO HANG YOURSELF.

[PresidentAOUN]

fet wa7ad chineese 3al dekene w allo lal zalame :"ong young tshi tshung.....pepsi" so allo ldekkanje:"baddak tna3shar anninet shou???