Funny Jokes #3

[Tawa]

The problems with GIRLS:



If U DRESS Nicely, she says U are trying to LURE her
If U Don't, she says U are from KAMPUNG.
If U ARGUE with her, she says U are STUBBORN;
If U keep QUIET, she says U have no BRAINS.
If U are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
If she's Smarter than U, she is GREAT.
If U don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS U;
If U Love her, she will try to LEAVE U. (very true huh?)
If U tell her your PROBLEM, she says U are TROUBLESOME;
If U don't, she says that U don't TRUST her.
If U SCOLD her, U are like a NANNY to her;
If she SCOLDS U, it is because she CARES for U.
If U BREAK your PROMISE, U Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS hers, she was FORCED to do so.
If U do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If U HURT her, U are CRUEL;
If she HURTS U, U are too SENSITIVE!! & sooo hard to please!!!!!

True, Isn't It ?

[Rami_s]

Lei Walid Jomblat Welid Ba3ed 18 Chaher Mich 9?
---------------------------
Kel Ma Yege Ta Yenzal Yghayir Ra2yo

[Ratroot]

shu bta3mel el na7leh el 7omsiyeh ? ... mraba , badel el 3asal ... hahahaha

[jak]

Top 10 men:
1. The Doctor, because he says,"Take off your clothes".
2. The Dentist, because he says,"Open wide".
3. The hairdresser, because he says,"Do you want it teased or blown".
4. The Milkman, because he says,"Do you want it in front or in back?"
5. The Interior Decorator, because he says,"Once you have it all in, you'll love it."
6. The Banker, because he says,"If you take it out to soon, you'll lose interest".
7. The Police Officer, because he says,"Spread them".
8. The Mailman, because he always delivers his package.
9. The Pilot, because he takes off fast and then slows down.
10. The Hunter, because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.

[jak]

top 10 men:
1. The Doctor, because he says,"Take off your clothes".
2. The Dentist, because he says,"Open wide".
3. The hairdresser, because he says,"Do you want it teased or blown".
4. The Milkman, because he says,"Do you want it in front or in back?"
5. The Interior Decorator, because he says,"Once you have it all in, you'll love it."
6. The Banker, because he says,"If you take it out to soon, you'll lose interest".
7. The Police Officer, because he says,"Spread them".
8. The Mailman, because he always delivers his package.
9. The Pilot, because he takes off fast and then slows down.
10. The Hunter, because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.

[Ratroot]

Shu bta3mol el na7leh el 7omsiyeh ? ... mraba badal el 3asal

[Tawa]

The cop and the little girl

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, "Next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

[jak]

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "****."

[Ghnadine]

Originally Posted by Tawa

The cop and the little girl

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, "Next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

Very Funny...Thanks for sharing its great

[Ghnadine]

Originally Posted by Tawa

The problems with GIRLS:

If U DRESS Nicely, she says U are trying to LURE her

If U Don't, she says U are from KAMPUNG.

If U ARGUE with her, she says U are STUBBORN;

If U keep QUIET, she says U have no BRAINS.

If U are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;

If she's Smarter than U, she is GREAT.

If U don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS U;
If U Love her, she will try to LEAVE U. (very true huh?)
If U tell her your PROBLEM, she says U are TROUBLESOME;

If U don't, she says that U don't TRUST her.

If U SCOLD her, U are like a NANNY to her;

If she SCOLDS U, it is because she CARES for U.
If U BREAK your PROMISE, U Cannot be TRUSTED;

If she BREAKS hers, she was FORCED to do so.

If U do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If U HURT her, U are CRUEL;

If she HURTS U, U are too SENSITIVE!! & sooo hard to please!!!!!

True, Isn't It ?

If girls read this they will think I'm crazy but most of it is true,but not on all girls trust me.