Homsi Jokes#2

[The Lizard King]

A Homsi Student Called ZouZou at Level 3 Class returns from his first day at school & immediately questions his father. Son: "Dad, today we had a Spelling Class. All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Syrian?" Father: "No son, that's because you are intelligent!" The son, seeming content with the
answer, asks his father another question: "Dad today we had Math class, all the other kids could only count from 1 to 10, but I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Syrian?" Father: "No son, that's because you are intelligent!" Happy with the answer, son asks another question to his father: "Dad today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Syrian?" Father: "No son, that's because you are 20 years old!"

[Rami_s]

Homsi #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Homsi #2: "No, who wrote it?

Q: Why did 18 homsis go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed !!!

[Rami_s]

Q: Why do you think people aren't afraid to put homsi jokes on the internet?
A: Because the internet didn't get to Homs yet

[Jess]

واحد حمصي شاف ناس متجمعين ، راح يشوف شو في ، قام ما قدر يفوت من كتر العجقة ، قام شغـّل مخـّه وصرخ بالناس ، زيح انت وياه ، هاد ابن عمي ابن عمي ، قامت الناس كلها وسعتلوا الطريق وفات قام لاقى حمار ميـّت


حمصي مسطول حامل كرتونة بيض شاف قشرة موز بالشارع قال يا حبيبي راحو البيضات


واحد حمصي اشترى تكسي و فرحان فيها كتير،
صاروا العالم يأشرولوا: (تكسي تكسي....؟)...وهو يقول: ( ايه بعرف بعرف

[Rami_s]

Q : How does a Homsi thinks he won the lottery?
A: He buys the ticket with the winning numbers the day after the lottery

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Q : Why does the Homsi take a car door with him to the desert?
A: So he can open the window if it gets hot!

------------------

It was a really hot day and this Homsi decided he would go buy a Pepsi. He went to the Pepsi machine and when he put his money in, a Pepsi came out. So, he kept putting money in and getting Pepsi(s) out.
And since it was such a hot day, a line of people had formed behind him. Finally, a guy in the line said: “Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!”
And the Homsi replied: “No way. I'm still winning!”

[Rami_s]

Q: Why can't Homsis dial 911?
A: They cannot find the eleven on the phone
------
So a Homsi and a Halabi are walking together in a park. Suddenly the Halabi says, "Oh no! There's a dead bird over there!" The Homsi looks up in the sky and shouts, "Where?!
------
why the homsi wear his new shoes after 3 days from buying date ??? , because the sales man tell him that the shoes will become small the first 3 days , so he wear the shoes after the first three days!

[Jess]

واحد حمصي حشاش ركب تكسي و قال للشوفير خدني عالقمر ، قام الشوفير ما كذب خبر وكبس فيه على شط البحر و كبوا للحمصي عالشط ، لما صحصح اخونا الحمصي ما شاف حدا حواليه الا وحدة متسطحة على بطنها قرب عليها و لكشها، قالتلو دخيلك انا محروقة من الشمس
قال لها : اهلا ً ، انا احمد من حمص


مرة واحد وجعه ضرسه قام راح الى طبيب حمصي وقال للدكتور : دخليك يا دكتور هالضرس عذبني كتير شوفلي صرفة معاه ، قام الدكتور خلعلوا كل اسنانه عدا الضرس المنخور ، صُعق المريض وقال له شو عملت ؟
قاله له الدكتور: إيه ، خليه مثل الكلب لحاله

[Rami_s]

قالو الصيدلي لواحد حمصي: خود من هذا الدوا أربع ملاعق كل يوم.
أم رد: بس ماعندي إلا ملعقتين

حمصي سألوه مين برأيك أهم الشمس و لا القمر ، قال القمر طبعاً ، قالوله ليش ، قال لأنه القمر بيطلع بالليل بيعطينا ضو أما الشمس بتطلع بالنهار والدنيا ضاوية أصلاً

[Jess]

fi mara el homsé bedo ynadif aquarium em jeb samke serlankiye


mara 7omse fata7 madrase lal aytem.. 2am tene youm 3emel ejteme3 el ahali

[Rami_s]

...حماصنة بدهم يفجروا مبنى حطوا القنبلة في الطابق الاول .... وهربوا على السطح

كان في حمصي يحط ابنوه فوق الخزانة قبل ما ينام ليش مشان إذا وقع يحس عليه

حمصي سألوا الصحافة :شو نسبة البطالة بحمص؟؟؟
قال : ما بعرف بالزبط بس الحماصنة كلن
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