pancreatic cancer patient 2 days before his death ...

[SysTaMatIcS]

Oct 25, 2007

I cannot recall ever being this tired. Over the weekend, the bottom simply fell out of all my energy. My lungs heave, but I am not getting the oxygen I need. Standing up and walking three steps results in falling down immediately. Without direct, immediate assistance, I almost cannot move at all.

For the sequence of events through which I have come, I am amazed to still be here. In August of 2004 we had just been through one of the most awful real estate transactions imaginable. We had been cheated so badly in the deal, that we ended up having go bring very large amounts of money to sell the Huntsville house. It hurt very badly, but then again it was the right thing to do. I would so much rather arrive Home having forgiven everyone everything, trusting my Savior for everything, than to bear a single grudge against anyone or anything. So as of the end of August 2004, that matter was fully taken care of. It was done, forgiven, and no longer of concern. While we had been seriously cheated, yet we made sure to treat our buyer right. It is the proper, Christian thing to do. So this put us in a seriously hard financial position from which to recover.

It was a major shock, then the next month, during September 2004 to be diagnosed with Pancreatic Adenocarcinoma. Dr. Stuart Foley (Lakeside Clinic, Guntersille) noticed my jaundiced eyes with no other pain, and referred me first to Dr. Winter Wilson (Marshall Medical Center North) and then on to Dr. Mo Eloubeidi (UAB Hospital, Birmingham, Alabama) who used visual and ultrasound endoscopes to inspect the area for tumor growth, They found enough evidence, both through imaging and biopsies to refer me to Dr. Selwyn Vickers (UAB Hospital, Birmingham, Alabama) for a major surgery called a “Whipple Procedure,” on October 21, 2004, wherein they removed all of my gall bladder, the head of the pancreas, including the bile duct, part of my stomach, part of my intestine, every lymph node they could reach, and anything else that looked even slightly suspicious. They sewed me back up a very different person, with much less digestive tact. As soon as the skin healed up a bit, the next treatments began. There were 28 days of radiation treatment combined with Xeloda, which is a systemic chemo drug, and then there was 28 days more of Xeloda by itself.

This sequence of treatments seemed to help for a while. There were no new visible issues until pain developed in February 2006. From that time on, it became obvious that the cancer had metastasized, and that there would have to be a broadside-systemic approach to fighting it. At this point, Dr. James Posey (UAB Comprehensive Cancer Center, Birmingham, Alabama) was brought on as lead doctor, and as the oncologist. From Spring to 2006 then there were a series of tests (CT scan and PET scan of abdomen, chest, and pelvis, MRI of my head, bone scan) and from that information I was started on a whole series of chemotherapy agents.

The first chemo agent was Gemzar. I had a port-a-cath installed to make the infusions work better, and the Gemzar seemed to keep everything at bay for six months or so. After that though. the tumor marker they watch (called CA19-9) started to climb c, and so the decision was made to try two other chemo drugs simultaneously, these being Tarceva and Oxaliplatin. What awful stuff those are, and furthermore, beyond being impossibly expensive, they had no positive effect, So that has been canceled along with all other cancer treatment, and I am now in the care of Hospice.

My writing has slowed a bit, because the end-of-life drugs are meant to relieve the considerable amount of pain. My staying lucid is a secondary consideration now. Yes, when I cannot breathe, and the panic attack begins, I do not feel badly abut taking the concentrated morphine sulfate. I am dying now, It is over. The Lord could call me Home today, and I will joyfully go. I want to be found faithful to the end, and for me the end is very near.

So, in some form this is a bit of a a farewell message. My hands are so numb that typing this much took me several hours. I will continue to work as long as I can function, but that is not guaranteed past ten minutes from now. May My God most seriously bless all of those who have walked with me in this way, and held my hands up that I may continue beyond all rational time.

May Jesus bless you mightily.

Diehl Martin
Guntersville, Alabama,
Oct 25, 2007