The World’s Funniest Real Ads

[Rampage!!]

Believe it or not, these ads actually found their way into newspapers all over the world:


Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.


Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male.
For sale, Hope Chest, brand new, half off, long story.


Help wanted, adult or mature teenager to baby-sit. One dollar an hour.


Lost: small brown poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.


For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.


Four-posted bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.


Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.


Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.


Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to- find person.


Wanted, man to take care of cows that does not smoke or drink.


Three-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.


Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 -- $9 per hour.


Our sofa seats the whole mob and it’s made of 100% Italian leather.


Full sized mattress. 20 year warranty. Like New. Slight urine smell.


Nordic Track $300 hardly used, call Chubby.


Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300.


Open house body shapers toning salon free coffee and donuts


Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat... been out while. Better be reward.


Exercise equipment: Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175.


ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.


Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog.


Free puppies: ½ cocker spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor’s dog.


Free puppies: part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.


German Shepherd, 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.


Snow Blower for sale…only used on snowy days.
Bill’s Septic Cleaning: “We Haul American-Made Products."


Cows, calves never bred…also 1 gay bull for sale.


Nice Parachute – Never opened. Used once.


Hummels – Largest selection ever. "If it’s in stock, then we have it!"


1 man, 7 women hot tub. $850/offer.


Shakespeare’s Pizza. Free chopsticks.


Harrisburg Postal Employee Gun Club.


Tickle-Me-Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 Ford Mustang, 5L, Auto, Excellent condition $6800.

[abousoun]

That was so damn Funny and Stupid :-D
Best ones :
"Full sized mattress. 20 year warranty. Like New. Slight urine smell." :P
"1 man, 7 women hot tub. $850/offer"
"1 gay bull for sale"

Thank You ...

Thank You ...

[mr_j]

yeah I was impressed about that gay bull sale

who would buy that?

that's like selling a chicken that doesn't lay eggs

[Neoxter]

Originally Posted by mr_j

yeah I was impressed about that gay bull sale

who would buy that?

maybe a gay buyer

[Rampage!!]

One weekend a lawyer from New York decided to go bird hunting in Vermont. The lawyer drove to Vermont and found a good hunting spot near a farm. The lawyer sees a bird, shoots it and watches fall to the ground on the other side of the barns fence.
The lawyer, thinking to himself that's my bird I have to go get it, climbs the fence retrieves the bird and climbs back. Just as he gets back over the farmer comes up to him and says, "give me my bird." The lawyer says to him " your bird no no no I shot this bird it is mine."
"No" says the farmer,"it landed on my property it is mine." "Look" says the lawyer, "I am a lawyer, I will sue you , you will lose and I will get the duck." "No" says the farmer, "that's not how we do it here in Vermont, we use the three kick rule."
"Ok" says the lawyer, how does that work?" "I kick you three times as hard as I can, than you kick me as hard as you an three time and we keep going until one of us gives up." "Fine" says the lawyer, "let's go." "I'll go first" says the famer. So the famer kicks layer as hard as he can in the groin.
And just as lawyer is bent over in pain the famer kicks him right in the face. now just as the lawyer is thinking what did IU get myself into the farmer kicks him in the stomach. after the lawyer gets over the agonizing pain he says ok now it's my turn. No the farmer says, "I quit you can have the duck."



loooooooooooooool