Floating in the Outer Space!

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Floating In the Outer Space!

I found myself floating in the outer space. I found myself to be the only moving entity. I had no explanation for what I was doing there, somewhere in this infinite universe. The only thing I knew, and still remember, is the moment when I left that space station; the one that was orbiting the sun every 365 days. Yes, we used to call them days. We used to organize the routine of our life in such a way that we could feel our existence. In this moment of time, away from all that, I found myself dying, non-existent and it felt like my brain had stopped functioning since nothing seemed to be moving around me. Actually, I don’t remember the original moment of separation, the moment when I lost contact with what’s called the “material”.

Maybe I was awake, but closed my eyes for a while only to see the world in a different texture when I opened them again. Are we actually floating in this universe? Now what? I asked myself. What’s real and what’s not? Was I dreaming before? What’s that “void” around me?
Oh, I just realized that I’m touchable! That I’m a “material”! So what? I looked at some parts of my body and wondered if I’m the only kind existing in this infinite space full of “nothing”! I wondered if just by closing my eyes I would, for a second time, be teleported somewhere else? Or would I just return to the place I was before?!

Suddenly, I felt hungry! I felt the need of “material”! I looked around me desperately and found nothing to eat. What am I doing here I asked myself? What’s my role in here? What’s the real game that’s being played? Obviously, we human are used to consume what life gave us and benefit from this “materialistic existence” so that we can exist by ourselves. Since the time we’re born, we learned that life is X and Y, where X’s role is to consume Y and Y’s role is to be consumed by X! What an interesting equation?!

I noticed that this equation would only be applicable and available in one specific system of life - the one I met before I left that space station. Now what if there is no Y? How would X find a way to feed its hunger? And what if there is no X? How would Y maintain its abnormal existence without being consumed by X? Complexity seems to be operating here at its highest level. No?
All these questions had turned to a real dilemma and made me think more than usual, made me go far away, even farthest than the current place I was floating in!

After a certain amount of time - I guarantee its long duration - I stopped thinking and placed myself again in action with the feeling of hunger. I realized after a while that I wasn’t really hungry! The symptoms of hunger had stopped suddenly! It seems that I’m taught to feel hungry! I’m taught to function in a certain way that allows me to adapt myself with what life has imposed. Yes, life is tough. Life is furious. Someday we might all realize that we just missed how to deal with it, how to accept its rules. Knowing that I’m not really a hungry person made me feel pathetic, while the whole scene was quite ironic! I was weak, unable to control my feelings, my needs for living. Who’s controlling us in this universe? Who’s in charge of all this? I asked myself. I dramatically realized that I was being controlled by a super power; the unconscious.

I set out in the world of thought to believe in the contradictions of life. An idea came to my mind and a wave of deep fear moved inside of me. When there is no path back, no way out, the fear of being exiled from the existence, exiled from life begins to grow exponentially. I had the impression that was dead, that I had left the living world behind me and entered the world of death! The second life that is full of emptiness, full of anxiety. The place where there is no future, no interaction with time. We keep being anxious about what’s next even though there might be no next step, no next moment. Only when the moment stops, when the deadly silence ruins the harmony of life, we feel alone, materialistic like we used to be; this is death.

Like fairy tales that always have happy endings, nightmares in contrast, have their really terrible, tragic endings. "Floating in The Outer Space" wasn’t really a copy of either of these two. It was sad just because that’s life. It is how things are. We live, we lose and then we die.

I woke up from this film and found myself actually floating in my bed, dreaming of what life had brought me in the years I had spent here and there. I found nothing really special, only the fact that I’m actually floating in this universe!

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