For Metal Listeners...

alex_scorpions · 08-18-2006

Hey. sorry this post is in french bas kitr salbeh l fekra (i found it in another forum)
It's about Metal genres ...

HEAVY METAL
Le chevalier arrive sur une Harley Davidson, tue le dragon, boit quelques bières et baise la princesse.

SPEED METAL
Chevalier-tue-dragon-sauve-princesse-la-baise.

HARD ROCK
Le chevalier arrive en short avec une casquette.
La princesse se casse dégoutée.

BLACK METAL
Le chevalier arrive, tue le dragon et boit son sang, sodomise la princesse et boit son sang, puis la sacrifie à Satan.

SYMPHONIC BLACK METAL
La même chose mais en finesse.

HAIR METAL
Le chevalier arrive avec une coiffure 80's, envoie un baiser à la princesse et se fait croquer par le dragon.

FOLK METAL
Le chevalier arrive avec des amis flûtistes et violonistes, le dragon s'endort, il sauve la princesse et l'épouse.

METAL-INDUS
Le chevalier arrive en porte-jarretelle, fait des gestes obscènes au dragon, et se fait jeter hors du château par la sécurité.

DEATH METAL
Le chevalier arrive, tue le dragon, baise la princesse et la tue.

BRUTAL DEATH
Le chevalier arrive, tue le dragon, tue la princesse et la baise.

GOTHIC METAL
Le chevalier arrive et tue le dragon. La princesse tombe amoureuse de lui, il l'épouse en grandes pompes, le roi lui donne son royaume, il est le héros du peuple, il se suicide sans qu'on sache pourquoi.

DOOM METAL
Le chevalier arrive et se suicide. Le dragon mange son corps et la princesse.

GOTHIC METAL À CHANTEUSE
Elle charme le dragon par son chant, arrive devant la princesse, lui pique sa robe, lui pique sa place et attend que le batteur de son groupe vienne la délivrer.

ALTERNATIVE METAL
Le chevalier arrive, refuse de faire partie du système, dit « fuck you» à la princesse et repart.

VIKING METAL
Le chevalier arrive en bateau, tue le dragon avec une hache à deux mains, le cuit, le mange, viole la princesse et brûle le château.

PROGRESSIVE METAL
Le chevalier arrive avec une guitare et joue un solo de 26 minutes, le dragon se tue lui-même par ennui, le chevalier arrive près du lit de la princesse, joue un autre solo, la princesse s'enfuit et va chercher le chevalier heavy metal.

ATMOSPHERIC METAL
Les écailles du dragon reflètent la lumière de la Lune, la princesse est à son balcon et jette un regard mélancolique au loin, l'air souffle doucement dans les arbres de la forêt. Pas de chevalier.

GLAM METAL
Le chevalier arrive en retard après s'être looké pendant 3 heures, entre pendant que le dragon se tord de rire à sa vue, vole le maquillage de la princesse et peint les murs du château en rose.

GRIND METAL
Le chevalier arrive, crie quelque chose de parfaitement incompréhensible pendant
2 minutes et repart.

GORE METAL
Le chevalier arrive, tue le dragon en répandant ses entrailles devant le château, baise la princesse et la tue, rebaise le corps mort, tranche son estomac pour en bouffer les tripes, rebaise la carcasse une troisième fois, brûle le cadavre et le rebaise une dernière fois.

NEO METAL
Le chevalier arrive, il flippe quand il voit le dragon alors il reste devant les douves, en faisant des gestes obscènes à la princesse. Puis il repart dans la forêt se masturber.

TRUE BLACK METAL (À L'ANCIENNE)
Le chevalier arrive bourré, vomit dans les douves.
Sacrifie la princesse et commence à draguer lourdement le dragon.

TRUE BLACK METAL (NOUVELLE VAGUE)
Le chevalier arrive et commence à expliquer au dragon qu'il n'a rien compris et qu'il est pas "evil".
Il bute la princesse parce qu'elle l'a interrompu.
Le dragon, exaspéré, le bouffe malgré ses bracelets à piques.
Et pis, faut pas faire mal aux dames, non, faut pas.
(on peut être dragon et gentleman, bigre)

WHITE METAL
Le chevalier arrive, dit à au dragon qu'il faut accepter l'amour de Dieu et relacher la princesse, dis à la princesse qu'il faut accepter l'amour de Dieu et pardonner au dragon, puis part se battre avec le chevalier black metal ..

**General** · 08-19-2006

heheh

great post alex...

you rock \,,/

about alternative rock: le chevalier est pede et la princesse est lezbienne

missed that,
right ?

alex_scorpions · 08-19-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by RAM

heheh

great post alex...

you rock \,,/

about alternative rock: le chevalier est pede et la princesse est lezbienne

missed that,
right ?

hehe looool nice one

**xcoder** · 08-19-2006

loooooooooooooool, very funny!
i hate metal anywayz

i m sure ramy is crying in the corner :P

god · 08-24-2006

'god' likes metal

;P great post

**General** · 08-25-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by xcoder

loooooooooooooool, very funny!
i hate metal anywayz

i m sure ramy is crying in the corner :P

You think Metal Loves you?

Dany is crying in the corner

RULE #1: NEVER MESS WITH A METALHEAD...

1st warning xcoder... you'll be banned soon

LFsoul · 08-25-2006

Metalheads are the best :P

KeXasthur · 07-12-2007

This is in English

* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and ****s her.

* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and ****s the princess.

* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave........ without the princess.

* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, ****s the princess and kills her, then leaves.

* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, ****s the princess and kills her. Then he ****s the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he ****s the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and ****s it for the last time.

* GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. Thats the end of the sad story.

* GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duet by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.

* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist.

* INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

* SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someone's screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.

* CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to thank the protagonist he replies, "Sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."

* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

* BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footmen, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.

M|ch · 07-12-2007

lol @ power and progressive metal so true

SysTaMatIcS · 07-12-2007

lol the grind metal is helarius , btw theres some metal kinds i never heard of it! like grind metal , gore metal m speed , glam , chrisitian , battle , any one can recommend bands from each kind???

08-19-2006	#2
General Administrator Last Online: 11-25-2011 Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 4,191 Thanks: 525 Thanked 2,025 Times in 1,461 Posts Groans: 1 Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts	Re: For Metal Listener ... heheh great post alex... you rock \,,/ about alternative rock: le chevalier est pede et la princesse est lezbienne missed that, right ? __________________ signature

08-19-2006	#4
xcoder Ma ghayro Last Online: 04-19-2018 Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 5,592 Thanks: 1,765 Thanked 4,201 Times in 2,361 Posts Groans: 12 Groaned at 18 Times in 11 Posts	Re: For Metal Listener ... loooooooooooooool, very funny! i hate metal anywayz i m sure ramy is crying in the corner :P __________________ http://twitter.com/danymoussa

08-24-2006	#5
god Registered Member Last Online: 02-14-2010 Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 846 Thanks: 71 Thanked 293 Times in 217 Posts Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: For Metal Listener ... 'god' likes metal ;P great post __________________ --Capitalisation is the only difference between "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse" and "I helped my uncle jack off a horse" !! http://img482.imageshack.us/img482/4889/hell7ta.jpg

08-25-2006	#7
LFsoul Registered Member Last Online: 05-21-2010 Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 252 Thanks: 6 Thanked 195 Times in 189 Posts Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: For Metal Listener ... Metalheads are the best :P

07-12-2007	#8
KeXasthur Registered Member Last Online: 12-17-2012 Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 2,996 Thanks: 319 Thanked 1,119 Times in 872 Posts Groans: 1 Groaned at 6 Times in 6 Posts	Re: For Metal Listeners... This is in English * POWER METAL The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest. * THRASH METAL The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and ***s her. HEAVY METAL The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and ***s the princess. FOLK METAL The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave........ without the princess. * VIKING METAL The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving. * DEATH METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, ***s the princess and kills her, then leaves. BLACK METAL The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon. * GORE METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, **s the princess and kills her. Then he s the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he s the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and *s it for the last time. GRIND METAL The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves... * DOOM METAL The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. Thats the end of the sad story. * GOTHIC METAL The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duet by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity. * PROGRESSIVE METAL The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist. * INDUSTRIAL METAL The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards. * SPEED METAL Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someone's screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this. * CHRISTIAN METAL The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to thank the protagonist he replies, "Sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage." * GLAM METAL The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour. * BATTLE METAL The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footmen, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.

08-18-2006	#1
alex_scorpions Registered Member Last Online: 04-15-2018 Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 487 Thanks: 112 Thanked 141 Times in 126 Posts Groans: 1 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts	For Metal Listeners... Hey. sorry this post is in french bas kitr salbeh l fekra (i found it in another forum) It's about Metal genres ... HEAVY METAL Le chevalier arrive sur une Harley Davidson, tue le dragon, boit quelques bières et baise la princesse. SPEED METAL Chevalier-tue-dragon-sauve-princesse-la-baise. HARD ROCK Le chevalier arrive en short avec une casquette. La princesse se casse dégoutée. BLACK METAL Le chevalier arrive, tue le dragon et boit son sang, sodomise la princesse et boit son sang, puis la sacrifie à Satan. SYMPHONIC BLACK METAL La même chose mais en finesse. HAIR METAL Le chevalier arrive avec une coiffure 80's, envoie un baiser à la princesse et se fait croquer par le dragon. FOLK METAL Le chevalier arrive avec des amis flûtistes et violonistes, le dragon s'endort, il sauve la princesse et l'épouse. METAL-INDUS Le chevalier arrive en porte-jarretelle, fait des gestes obscènes au dragon, et se fait jeter hors du château par la sécurité. DEATH METAL Le chevalier arrive, tue le dragon, baise la princesse et la tue. BRUTAL DEATH Le chevalier arrive, tue le dragon, tue la princesse et la baise. GOTHIC METAL Le chevalier arrive et tue le dragon. La princesse tombe amoureuse de lui, il l'épouse en grandes pompes, le roi lui donne son royaume, il est le héros du peuple, il se suicide sans qu'on sache pourquoi. DOOM METAL Le chevalier arrive et se suicide. Le dragon mange son corps et la princesse. GOTHIC METAL À CHANTEUSE Elle charme le dragon par son chant, arrive devant la princesse, lui pique sa robe, lui pique sa place et attend que le batteur de son groupe vienne la délivrer. ALTERNATIVE METAL Le chevalier arrive, refuse de faire partie du système, dit « fuck you» à la princesse et repart. VIKING METAL Le chevalier arrive en bateau, tue le dragon avec une hache à deux mains, le cuit, le mange, viole la princesse et brûle le château. PROGRESSIVE METAL Le chevalier arrive avec une guitare et joue un solo de 26 minutes, le dragon se tue lui-même par ennui, le chevalier arrive près du lit de la princesse, joue un autre solo, la princesse s'enfuit et va chercher le chevalier heavy metal. ATMOSPHERIC METAL Les écailles du dragon reflètent la lumière de la Lune, la princesse est à son balcon et jette un regard mélancolique au loin, l'air souffle doucement dans les arbres de la forêt. Pas de chevalier. GLAM METAL Le chevalier arrive en retard après s'être looké pendant 3 heures, entre pendant que le dragon se tord de rire à sa vue, vole le maquillage de la princesse et peint les murs du château en rose. GRIND METAL Le chevalier arrive, crie quelque chose de parfaitement incompréhensible pendant 2 minutes et repart. GORE METAL Le chevalier arrive, tue le dragon en répandant ses entrailles devant le château, baise la princesse et la tue, rebaise le corps mort, tranche son estomac pour en bouffer les tripes, rebaise la carcasse une troisième fois, brûle le cadavre et le rebaise une dernière fois. NEO METAL Le chevalier arrive, il flippe quand il voit le dragon alors il reste devant les douves, en faisant des gestes obscènes à la princesse. Puis il repart dans la forêt se masturber. TRUE BLACK METAL (À L'ANCIENNE) Le chevalier arrive bourré, vomit dans les douves. Sacrifie la princesse et commence à draguer lourdement le dragon. TRUE BLACK METAL (NOUVELLE VAGUE) Le chevalier arrive et commence à expliquer au dragon qu'il n'a rien compris et qu'il est pas "evil". Il bute la princesse parce qu'elle l'a interrompu. Le dragon, exaspéré, le bouffe malgré ses bracelets à piques. Et pis, faut pas faire mal aux dames, non, faut pas. (on peut être dragon et gentleman, bigre) WHITE METAL Le chevalier arrive, dit à au dragon qu'il faut accepter l'amour de Dieu et relacher la princesse, dis à la princesse qu'il faut accepter l'amour de Dieu et pardonner au dragon, puis part se battre avec le chevalier black metal .. __________________ ^^ I Wrote This

07-12-2007	#9
M\|ch Registered Member Last Online: 12-19-2011 Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,476 Thanks: 66 Thanked 884 Times in 516 Posts Groans: 0 Groaned at 25 Times in 18 Posts	Re: For Metal Listeners... lol @ power and progressive metal so true

07-12-2007	#10
SysTaMatIcS Registered Member Last Online: 10-14-2022 Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 10,467 Thanks: 14,136 Thanked 4,244 Times in 2,547 Posts Groans: 186 Groaned at 198 Times in 120 Posts	Re: For Metal Listeners... lol the grind metal is helarius , btw theres some metal kinds i never heard of it! like grind metal , gore metal m speed , glam , chrisitian , battle , any one can recommend bands from each kind??? __________________ problems of performance appraisal is that it sucks to memorize them

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