Questions, By George Carlin

[Gilgamesh]

Some questions posed by comedian George Carlin, some of them are hilarious :

How can you have a civil war?

Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

[Tawa]

Lol Nice Ones, Especially The Turtle And The Pasta One ::

[FriendOfZeus]

"If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

"What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?"

Oh man those cracked me up! haha