Homsi Jokes

[Rami_s]

:D Homsi went to Lebanon for shopping. He went to a
store and asked:

"Do you have 'Beirut-boo'?".

The clerk replied:

- "Sorry, I've never heard of it".
The Homsi went into a second store and asked :

- "Do you have 'Beirut-boo'?".
the clerk replied :

- "Sorry, I've never heard of it."

the Homsi said:
"What do you mean you don't have 'Beirut-boo'.
How do you wash your hair?
In Syria we have 'Cham-boo'!!!"

[KeXasthur]

Hehe..nice one Rami_s

I have this...

Fee homsi lagha maw3idoo ma3 el 7akim la2anno kan mareed...

(ma takhdouwa siyesoyeh)

Another one...

Fee 7omsi...7iki ma3 wa7ed seeni am 2al el seeni" li7na 3inna kil d2ee2a bikhla2 walad" am 2al el homsi...."yi7ro2 abou el tatawor..li7na 3inna kil 9 ashhor "

[Rami_s]

[Rami_s]

[rEzZzie]

A Homsi was searching the dictionary for the word "Dictionary".

He found this meaning : "Dictionary is the thing you are holding, stupid....."

Wondering what the definition of stupid was,

he searched for the Word stupid, and found : "Is that you again ??!?"

[rEzZzie]

A Lebanese and a Homsi met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 o'clock news.

A man was shown threatening to jump from the top of the Phonecia Hotel in Beirut.

The Homsi bet the Lebanese $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the Lebanese replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the Homsi gave the Lebanese the $50 he owed.

The Lebanese said, "I can't take this, you're my friend. I have to admit, I already saw this on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The Homsi replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

[rEzZzie]

One Lebanese man sitting in a train and next to him sitting one Syrian man.
opposite them, one young awesome blond lady and an old ugly fat woman.
the train went thru a dark tunnel and slammmmmmm sound heard in the dark.

The train is out of the tunnel and they look and saw the Syrian face so red and swollen.

1- the young woman said to herself, it is obvious, the Syrian tried to touch the old lady and she slap him.
2-The old lady said to herself, it is obvious the Lebanese man tried to touch the young lady and by mistake she thought it was the Syrian.
3-The Syrian said to himself, it is obvious the young lady thought it am the Lebanese guy who tried to touch her.
4-The Lebanese man said to himself, I hope to god we go thru another tunnel so I could slap that mother fucker one more time.

[rEzZzie]

A Lebanese, a Syrian, and a black man are in a hospital.

All of their wives are about to deliver.

They are nervous and anxious and talking to each other to calm down.

After a while the doctor walks in and announces that all of their wives gave birth to healthy baby boys all within minutes of each other.

The men start celebrating and congratulating each other, but then the doctor says, "But I have a bit of bad news", the men fall silent.

He continues, "The nurse got confused and we don't know which boy belongs to whom".

At that the Lebanese man runs into the maternity ward and grabs the black baby screaming,

"This one is mine!"

The doctor runs after him and says, "But sir, both you and your wife are white."

The Lebanese man looks at him and replies:

"Listen, one of the other two is Syrian, I am NOT taking any chances!"

[KeXasthur]

Fee em homsiyeh kanet 3am t2oul....
Yikhzil 3ein 3ala ibni mitfawa2 ma3oo shhadat wla7 yseer hakim...di2oo di2oo 3al khashab...(da2et 3al khashab) el ibn be 2oul...yee da2 el beb..intorii ta ifta7.....am el 2imm bit 2oul..la2la2..habibi..dallak 2o3ed ana b2oum...

[rEzZzie]

Originally Posted by The Metalic Mercenary

Fee em homsiyeh kanet 3am t2oul....
Yikhzil 3ein 3ala ibni mitfawa2 ma3oo shhadat wla7 yseer hakim...di2oo di2oo 3al khashab...(da2et 3al khashab) el ibn be 2oul...yee da2 el beb..intorii ta ifta7.....am el 2imm bit 2oul..la2la2..habibi..dallak 2o3ed ana b2oum...

hahha real good one :lol: :lol: