J O K E S Thread ;)

[Rami_s]

Last month, a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The

only question asked was... : "Would you please give your honest

opinion

about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure because...:

In Africa they didn't know what "food" means.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest " means.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" means.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" means.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" means.

In South America they didn't know what "please" means.

In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" means.

[FreaK]

10x all for ur jokes badna shi 3an jonblat aw sa3ed iza fi :P
heheh

[Casper]

After 35 years of work in postal services, the postman is preparing

for retirement and he is working his last day as a postman.

One family gave him a pen as a gift, another one gave him a key tab,

and when he rings at the third door, the door opens and a glamorous

blonde appears, holds him by his hand, takes him to the bedroom where
they spent two hours in the most crazy sex.

After the shower she feeds him breakfast (eggs with ham and orange juice) and gives him $5.

During the meal, he was delirious and asks: "Can you
explain all of this to me?!?"

The Blonde says: "Yesterday, I told my husband that our postman is going to retire and we need to offer him something,

and he replies: 'F**k him, ..... give him 5 dollars!'; but the breakfast
though was my idea!!!"

[LFsoul]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL nice one Kasbah

[Rami_s]

A BMW ASKED A VOLKSWAGEN: "WHY ARE YOUR EYES POPING OUT OF YOUR BODY?" THE VOLKSWAGEN REPLIED:
"LET THEM PUT A MOTOR IN YOUR ASS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR EYES!!!!!!!!!"

[Cute Angel]

A man to cardiologist:" How dare u tell my wife that she has a cute Vagina?"

Doctor:" stupid, I told her that she has acute Angina."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A husband was stung by a bee on his penis and it became swollen. His wife prayed, "Oh God may you remove off the pain and leave the size as it is."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A man was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly? Man: I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Mother to Teenage Daughter: "I think its time that we should talk about SEX."
Daughter: "Yes Mom, What do you want to know?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Can u name FIVE Great KINGS who have brought HAPPINESS into PEOPLES LIVES??

Answer: "drin-KING, smo-KING, lic-KING, suc-KING & of course fuc-KING...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

[Josee]

Arithmetic

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said 6.
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"

[Josee]

Battery Acid

Little Johnny's sitting on the street corner playin with battery acid, when a priest walked up and said, "Johnny, you should play with holy water instead." Little Johnny says, "Why is that?". The priest replies, "I put holy water on a pregnant lady and she passed a baby".
Little Johnny says to the priest, "That ain't sh*t. I put battery acid on a cat's ass and he passed a Volkswagon!"

[Josee]

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!"

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ...just fucking beautiful!

[KeXasthur]

Lol, I like this Jhonny Boy..... hahaha