Homsi Goes To The States To Study English!‏

[Rami_s]

A Homsi guy went to America to study and sent a letter his mom to show her how quickly he learned to speak English.

Dear YAMO,

Yesterday, friendatee invited me to a restaurant. We orders first KISSERS ??????, upside down ??????and the dessert was hind's husband cake ( jawz al hind) and made in husband ( ma3mool bel joz). But yamo one of my friendatee is a moons player ( la3eeb 2 mar) so danger on my mind ( 5atar 3ala balee) to go to the vomiting office ( maktab al mooraja3at ) in the university that have the divorced salad ?????? ?????? and tell them about my friend.

Yamo, I bought two husbands of socks ( jawzein kalset) but the salesman was my mother (2ommee) .He didn't understand what I wanted so I told him your price on me .

( 7a2ak 3alaye) I wanted to pay for the socks he didn't accept and said to me keep it on my calculation (5aleeha 3ala 7sabee) . We became friends and he invited me to his house before I came in I shouted constitution parents home (dastoor ya ahl al dar) . I evaluated his envelopes (2adaret zoorofo) coz he lived alone in a small house. He insisted to spend the night in his house I told him cover your width ( yestor 3ala 3ardak), I can't sleep out of the university but from here to here ( men hown la hown), I knew he was Syrian too. He was very on a boy ( 3asabee). I told him that the next day the invitation would me on my mathematics (3ala 7sa bee). Friendato came to tell him instead of your safety ( 3awad be salamtak) coz his cousin died two weeks ago.

Make your touching in good Yamo ( masaytek bel 5eir yamo) , and see you soon.



Your son Perfection The Tiger (Kamal Al Anemer).

P.S:Btestehal Thread

[mr_j]

I love this stuff, 7abeyt el dear yammo
fi kamen taba3 abou el 3abed


Abou el abed was asked by his teacher to write an essay in english about any interesting encounter that happened recently with him.
So he wrote in a classical translation from Arabic to English.

From some 2 months 3 (chahren tlete) I recognized a girl in the tooth of the elephant(sen el fil) she was other look and like the moon! (gheir chekel ou mitli el amar) burn her religion (ye7re2 dina) what beautiful (chou 7ilwe). I tried to touch her pulse (dis nabada) to see is there is space and it appeared that she is interested. The first day I talked her on the phone (7kaita 3al telephone) and the second day she invited me on the lunch I asked her; what you kitchenized; (shou teibkha) she said some milk of his mother's yoghurt on the walking (shwayet laban emmo 3al meishi). I liked her project and before I arrived to her, I went to the milker (el 7allab) and bought some lady's arms (znoud l sett) and some eat and say thank you (kol ou shkor). She opened me the door and when she saw the handsome (el 7elo) in my hands she said yiiii! Your hands be safe (tislam 2idek) why torture yourself my uncle? (lech m3azzab 7alak ya 3ammi). While we are eating, rang the doorbell. She opened the door and entered her old boyfriend. He asked who is he? she said not your entry (ma dakhalak) I knew straight he wanted to problemize it (baddo ymashkela) He said my eye on you and on him (ya 3ainy 3laiki w 3leh) I will count God not create you (be7sob allah ma khala2ik)I said: look my head does not carry me (raseh mabye7milny) break the evil (ksor el shar) before the gypsy milk goes up huh! (abel ma 7alib el nawar yetla3) go pave the sea (ballet el ba7er) and bleach from my face now! (7il 3an wiji halla2) The man felt on his blood (7ass 3a dammo) and left the room. In the truth, he poisoned my body (sammalei badanei) very much. But the girl gave breakfast to my nerves (rawwa2etly a3sabi) she said don't carry worry (ma te7mol hamm) my life don't carry worry put your hands in cold water I told her like my foot (metel ejre) tell me, are you empty tonight? (fadye lyom) she said yes, I emptify myself for you (bfaddilak 7aleh) I told her thank you my love, you are very digestible (inte kteer mahdoumei)...

[hammerguy]

Nice ones
But I think that one can make jokes without being racist
it would be better for example to say je7a or abou l 3abed
jokes rather than those who insult a whole population

[TAREK®]

loooooooooooooooooool he speaks London very best

[TAREK®]

Originally Posted by mr_j

burn her religion (ye7re2 dina) ..

looooooooooooooooooool I spent 30 mins laughing just reading this one

[jak]

مصري كاتب رسالة بالانجليزي


Dear Friday
عزيزي جمعه//واحد صاحبه

when I was in the lady first yesterday i saw a piece of girl
اول امبارح وانا ماشي في السيده شفت حته دين بنت

she was egg and sweet
بيضه وحلوه

i said: ya earth keep what on you
انا قلت: يا ارض احفظي ما عليكي

a hundred evening on your eyes ya beautiful
ميت مسا علي عيونك يا جميل

she said : poison
قالت : يا سم

i said : poison from your hand is poison poison ya moon
قلت : السم من ايدك يبقي سمسم يا قمر

she shouted in me : yes yes your mother soul.
صرخت : نعم نعم يا روح امك

do you remember me one of them
أنت فاكرني واحده من اياهم

collect your self or i will collect the street on you ya omar
لم نفسك ولا الم عليك الشارع ياااااااا عوووووومر

the girl entered my brain
البنت دخلت دماغي

i said : why like this ya daughter of people
قلت : ليه كده يا بنت الناس

i want you on the book of God and his prophet
انا عاوزك علي سنه الله ورسوله

the boon on me i write my book on you tonight
ندر عليا اكتب كتابي عليكي الليله

she laughed and said on your slow on your slow
ضحكت وقالت: علي مهلك علي مهلك

write the book one piece? not talk on me first
تكتب الكتاب مرة واحده؟ مش تتكلم عليا الاول(يعني تكلم أهلي)

i shouted: i die in the cream; O thousand white mornings
زعقت: اموت في الحلاوه يا الف نهار ابيض

i am going to talk on you right now and write my book on you
انا رايح أتكلم عليكي حالا واكتب كتابي عليكي

[jak]

► Victorious Jellyfish ناصر قنديل
► Lantern the Humpback مصباح الأحدب
► Comrade the Silky رفيق الحريري
► Happy the Silky سعد الحريري
► Thankful Frowner شاكر العبسي
► Father of Kitty أبو هريرة
► Loyal Makes Pretty أمين الجميل
► Decent Seed نزيه البزري
► Beautiful Sir جميل السيد
► Alert My Righteousness نبيه بري
► Heart of the Beautiful Lady فؤاد السنيورة
► Michael the Bitter مشال المر
► The Stealer of My Meter طارق متري
► Diver Priest غطاس خوري
► Unique the Stock Keeper فريد الخازن
► Unique the Donkey Herder فريد مكاري
► Age of Generosity عمر كرامي
► Guide of Generosity رشيد كرامي
► Honor the Gardener نبيل البستاني
► Nobel We Say No نبيل نقولا
► Receive Compensation نيلا معوّض
► Knight of Little Grouchy فارس بويز
► Complete the Happiest كامل الاسعد
► Stealer of Turkey طارق حبشي


► Right Appearance أيمن الظواهري
► Constructive Bomber معمر القذافي
► Frame Honored برواز مشرّف
► Announcer the Lion بشار الأسد
► Diaper the Lion حافظ الأسد
► Goody Blessed حسني مبارك
► The Son of the Teacher وليد المعلم
► Slave of the Meek Servant عبد الحليم خدام
► Destroyed Thorns آصف شوكت
► Sultan Father of Two Eyes سلطان أبو العنين


► Mother of All Garlic أم كلثوم
► Morning Pride صباح فخري
► Loyal the Perfumer أمين الريحاني
► Happy Brain سعيد عقل
► Sigh Blacksmith (Gem) نهاد حداد (فيروز)
► Unique the Deaf فريد الأطرش
► Morning صباح
► Desiring a Mark راغب علامة
► Salute Karaoke تحية كاريوكا
► Slave of the Meek Diaper عبد الحليم حافظ


► What in not in? شوفي مافي؟
► Danger on my mind خطر على بالي
► Your price on me حقك علي
► Why after my age ليش يابعد عمري
► Divorced salad السلطة المطلقة
► Two husbands of socks جوزين جرابات
► He is my mother إنه أمي – جاهل
► Keep it on my mathematics خليها على حسابي
► Constitution home parents دستور يا أهل الدار
► Evaluate my envelopes قدر ظروفي
► After your ear بعد اذنك
► Shave from here احلق من هون
► Don't calculate my calculation لا تحسب حسابي
► She went on you راحت عليك
► Cover on your wide يستر على عرضك
► I push the mathematics أنا أدفع الحساب
► Not on your each other مالك على بعضك
► Kissers مقبلات
► Upside down مقلوبة
► Husband figs تين بعل
► Hinds Husband جوز هند
► Orange with picture برتقالة معصورة
► Made in husband معمول بالجوز
► Like an elephant كفيل
► He does not die to me an onion لا يمت لي بصلة
► I never escaped a cat لم أهرب قط
► To be kissed يتقبل
► Cairo envelopes ظروف قاهرة
► Vomit office مكتب المراجعات
► Father of beautiful أبو جميل